Saving What We Love
by EJGryphon
Summary: In the weeks after The Last Jedi, Rey and Ben discover they can still access the link between them. How will they work through their relationship in aftermath of Luke's death, the crumbling of the Resistance, and Kylo Ren's usurpation of the role of Supreme Leader?
1. Chapter 1

When she woke, it was still dark in the room. It had happened again last night.

His ebony bedsheets were softer than anything she had ever slept against before, a material she didn't know. The thick, downy covers were bunched around her head and warm on her bare skin. It still smelled like him.

Another night in his bed. Another night in his arms. Another morning of conflict.

He walked around the corner, his hair still damp. She watched as he slid a tunic over his head, over his shoulders, down his back, and add a robe over top. He turned to her, expressionless, and she felt a ripple of desire.

Her eyes followed him, feeling that mix of fear and longing, as he left the room, no doubt headed for the bridge. She pressed them closed as the door slid shut behind him, and found herself wondering how she had gotten here.


	2. Chapter 2

He was there. Well, not _there,_ exactly – not really. But the ephemeral, total connection had reopened and he could see everything around her as clearly and as solid as if he _were_ there. It was, in truth, strange, and awkward too. She had been sleeping until then, wrapped tightly in her cloak and facing the wall.

"Go away, Ben," she muttered, not moving. "I don't even know how you got in here."

Neither did he. "I didn't do this."

That made her pause. "There's nothing to talk about."

He gave a noncommittal growl as a reply. He wasn't sure he agreed.

Ben slid down the wall until he was seated on the floor of his quarters, his eyes never leaving her back. He stayed there for several minutes in silence, replaying in his mind the last time they had spoken.

 _You're nothing_.

She was awake – he could feel it – but lay motionless, her breathing slow and measured. She was listening.

 _You're nothing._

"My father was a smuggler. A scoundrel. My mother …" Here he stopped, the next word still a fresh wound. He rushed to quell it. "Was the child of an illicit union by a slave from the back of the galaxy. The man she trusted to raise me tried to murder me in my sleep. I shouldn't even be here."

Her emotions at last bubbled over at the mention of her master; she threw off her cloak and whirled around to look at him. "You're right you shouldn't be here. Get off my ship."

"My _father's_ ship." He _almost_ said it out loud.

Instead, he was silent. _You're nothing._

"I don't want you here. If Snoke is dead, _how are you here_?" she seethed.

"I don't know," he said flatly. It was the truth, followed by a lie: "I don't want to be here either."

Rey crossed the main hold of the _Falcon_ , several long strides toward him, the loose tails of her tabard fluttering behind her as she moved, and kicked his thigh in frustration and rage. It connected, as solid as if he were truly there with her. Ben didn't react.

 _You're nothing … but not to me._

He closed her hand in his and pulled her gently down beside him. To his surprise, she gave in and knelt, slowly, her eyes never leaving his. Her breath was ragged with fear and anger and … something else. He studied her, stretched out his senses, but her defenses were up against him and he could not penetrate them. For a long moment, several moments, a minute, they sat together, silent, impenetrable. Together.

A sound from Chewbacca in the cockpit broke the silence, and he was gone. Ben was back in his own room on the _Destroyer,_ seated on the floor, his back against the wall. She was gone from his consciousness and from his sight. For several moments he tried to hold her face in his mind, to memorize every inch, then dismissed it, crawled into his bed, and slept a fitful, dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The doors slid open and Supreme Leader Kylo Ren entered the bridge. Silence fell as he moved through the long, wide room toward the tall windows overlooking open the space before them. Each officer stood in turn as the Supreme Leader passed until the room was filled with a sea of black uniforms in front of their workspaces. Only the night captain dared to face Ren, his helmet low on his brow and his hands clasped behind him.

"Get out," Ren snarled.

"Supreme Leader," the captain began, launching into his report. The captain's feet swung sharply out from beneath him, knocking his body to the floor. His breath escaped him in a single, abrupt gasp, and the only other sound was that of his hands squealing on the polished floor as he was dragged by invisible hands out the door from whence Ren had come.

Kylo Ren was in no mood.

Without looking at her, Ren addressed the second in command. "Report."

"My lord," she began, nervously. "The Resistance fighters are reportedly hiding in-"

She was interrupted by the sensation of choking. She sputtered for a moment.

"Their figurehead is dead," Ren said, flatly, never looking away from whatever point in the stars he was gazing at. "They are no longer a concern." He released her throat and the officer continued.

"Yes, my lord." She coughed. "No troubles present. All systems at full power. Has the Supreme Leader chosen a destination?"

He was silent for a moment, still studying the expanse. His eyes darted to the West, where the First Order's heartland lay, and then to the East, where lay the dying remnants of the Resistance. "We go west," he stated. "We will re-establish order in the Borderlands and defend civilization among the barbarians in the East."

His commander nodded. "Prepare to enter hyperspace," she intoned.

"No one said anything about hyperspace," Ren snapped. "Proceed at standard speed; preserve fuel; alert me once if anything changes."

Without waiting for a response, he swept out of the bridge. There was no reason to dwell on their destination nor on its opposite point in space.

In the flight deck, Stormtroopers and officers flitted about, adjusting this and that on the ships. Word had gotten down to them about their destination before Ren had even arrived on the elevator. He moved steadily through the hangar, and they paused reverently as he passed.

They disgusted him. _Ants. Dogs. Feeble-minded fools, crouching and sniveling sycophants. Weak._

No Praetorian guard followed him. He would defend himself. Besides, he'd killed them all, he and the girl. Kylo Ren entered his TIE Fighter and silently, with a gesture, forced one of them to open the hatches to let him leave the _Destroyer._

 _If any one of them knew the power they could possess in the Force …_

Alone, silent, he entered the vastness of space and followed his ship into the West.


	4. Chapter 4

The TIE Fighter screamed across the empty space, circling the _Destroyer_. Kylo Ren twisted the controls, turning himself over and over, turning sharply, and buzzing too close to his own ship. He let out a rage-filled growl and righted his fighter. Every time he connected with her it took longer to get her out of his thoughts.

He pulled himself out of the pull of the _Destroyer_ and directed the fighter toward a minor-class light cruiser.

" _Cyrian_ , prepare for boarding." His dark hair curled over his face, the scar she gave him still visible. He had to put the girl out of his mind if he was going to achieve his ends.

"Acknowledged, Supreme Leader," came the reply. The bay doors opened and he entered. Slowly, the Fighter settled over the slick floor of the hangar, coming to a rest with a soft, metallic _clink_. Ren was nothing if not a skilled pilot; strength in the Force aside, he was who he was.

Twin rows of Stormtroopers lined the hangar as he exited the TIE Fighter, the heels of his boots audible in the silence. His black robes and cloak flowed behind him, filling the doorframe of his Fighter. He ducked his head as he passed through and down the three steps to the floor. For just a moment Kylo Ren felt he fit the part he played.

At the other end of the narrow hangar stood the captain of the _Cyrian._ His thick fur poured over the collar of his uniform, horns tall and imposing over the rest of the soldiers.

"Captain Grogg," he muttered, his cloak sweeping over the Gotal's body as he passed. Grogg had no choice but to follow the Supreme Leader to the private chamber.

The briefing room was empty but Ren took no chances. He erected a barrier around them; no sound escaped. "I have a job for you." Gotal hunters were unparalleled in the Galaxy; the few who had joined the First Order rose easily in the ranks. Grogg was interested.

"The last of the Resistance – find them, kill them. Tell no one."

Comments and advice heartily welcome!


	5. Chapter 5

Ben drew in a deep breath of the viscous fluid surrounding him. Clear and sticky, it filled his lungs and, for a moment, made him cough before he adjusted. The vessel was intended for the Supreme Leader's relaxation and meditation, but whole minutes alone with his own thoughts had never been something he enjoyed. Floating freely, his breath slow and intentional, he tried to focus his mind in the Force.

His thoughts settled, briefly, on his first master. Where once there was only rage he felt a tinge of something worse: remorse, shot through his anger like a streak of silver ore in hard rock. Ben shook his head to clear away Luke's face.

Instead came to him unbidden the face of the girl. Rey. What was it about her that wouldn't leave him alone? It wasn't that she was very beautiful – she wasn't. Much more beautiful girls could be bought for a few credits in Canto Bight, girls with soft skin and flowing silver hair and purple eyes. Pliant, willing girls. No, it was not beauty but power that drew him. She was powerful, powerful and diffuse.

Luke had been focused, like a laser beam, concentrated by the lens of the Light Side of the Force. Focused by his training and the support of masters like Obi-Wan and Yoda – support he had denied to Ben, support Ben had been forced to seek elsewhere.

Snoke had been focused on only the goal of power. Strong in the Force, insidious, slipping like a serpent into the consciousness of his pupil. Twisting Ben's will, manipulating his darkest fears and insecurities. He could see that now, and he hated him. Snoke's confidence in his own ability to bend others to his desires had blinded him and given Ben the chance to destroy him. Ben hated weakness.

The girl Rey was as powerful as his two masters, perhaps more so, but so unfocused. She could be led; she could be drawn away. She longed for the guidance she had never had from her parents. He could give it to her.

She alone could be his equal.

And then she was before him, as solid and clear as if she had entered the vessel beside him. She was inside his father's ship, bent over the table where they'd once played dejarik together, soldering metal to metal. The crackle of the tool in her hand was the only sound, but for the faint snoring of the Wookiee in another chamber. Her hair stuck to her damp forehead and she was dressed in nothing but a dun-colored tunic, legs and feet bare. She stopped her work, did not look up. "Get out."

He could not respond verbally: his lungs were full of oxygenated fluid. And he was glad she didn't look up: he was nude but for his smallclothes. In an instant the vision was gone and he was alone again.

Ben gasped, drawing in the tasteless liquid, his heart pounding.

 _It's me,_ he realized. _I'm doing this._

*Constructive criticism heartily welcomed!*


	6. Chapter 6

Rey ignited the lightsaber; the sound it made was so satisfying that for a moment all she could do was stare at it as it crackled and buzzed in her hand. Its blue glow illuminated her face and gently lit the room around her. The kyber crystal within it had somehow survived unbroken her fight with Ben and enough material remained around it that it even slightly resembled the lightsaber she had received from Master Skywalker. His memory stung her heart as she weighed it in her hand.

Would he be proud of her? she wondered. She swung the saber in an arc around her head, a smooth, slow mouliné, careful to avoid the _Falcon_ 's fixtures. If Luke could see her, would he be proud that his last apprentice had built her own, functional lightsaber?

A thrill of excitement passed through her. The Jedi texts that had guided her project had told her that the building of a lightsaber was a vital step in each padawan's journey. She let out a jubilant cry; in the cockpit the mother porg replied with an anxious squawk. Rey needed to move outside to more fully exercise her new creation.

Outside the _Falcon_ , the thin atmosphere of the asteroid initially made her breath catch in her throat, but she paused and let the sensation pass. Here on this ignoble rock, her friends - the remnants of the Resistance - could survive. Perhaps not grow, not make a stand against the First Order, but survive.

Until what, exactly? Until Ben found them, and killed them?

Rey's lithe body stretched and strained as she practiced with the lightsaber in the open chamber of the asteroid beside her ship. For a few minutes, the exercise and the feeling of accomplishment let her forget her circumstances and forget Ben. She moved, calculating, through the sequence Luke had taught her, counting under her breath. She held each pose for a beat and then slid into the next, counting, counting: one … two … four … twelve. Then a different order: three … two … one … ten … nine … ten … nine …

When at last she was out of breath, Rey extinguished the lightsaber and tucked it away beneath her tabard. She stood, panting, gazing at her ship. A curiosity entered her mind, and she stretched out her hand; focusing her mind, calming her thoughts, she raised the ship, slowly, off the floor of the cavern.


	7. Chapter 7

Three … two … one … ten … nine … ten … nine …

The ancient saber practice flowed through him effortlessly. It was the same pattern he'd followed since he was a boy. _One … two … four … twelve._ The harsh red blade sliced the air in front of him, crackling, burring, pulsing. An elegant weapon for a more civilized age.

This was the goal of the First Order, to restore civilization to the galaxy. Order. Sense. To reestablish peace through supremacy. To put an end to the incursions of the thinly-veiled operatives of the New Republic, the Resistance that had pulled his own mother away from him –

Ben stopped mid-pose and lowered his blade. How much blood stained it. How much blood stained his hands.

Was it enough? Could it ever be?

The girl. Rey. Would her blood be enough to quell his rage?

He stared at the red blade. He'd made it himself, of course; the heat of its burning plasma spilled out to the crossguard, barely controlled.

 _The girl_.

She was there, seated on a rock, idly petting … a thing. It cooed in response to her touch, oblivious to his presence. But Rey could feel it, and she looked up, meeting his eyes.

"I can't talk to you, Ben," she said softly. Her voice echoed in the cavern around her.

He lowered and extinguished his lightsaber, then dropped it on the floor of his quarters with an empty, metallic _clang._

"Ben," she said again. "Why are you here? Why do you keep doing this?"

She was about to die. By his own order.

"What makes you think I have anything to do with this." It wasn't really a question.

She set down the creature in her lap and it scurried back into the darkness. She stood. "Everything. Everything makes me think that, _Supreme Leader._ "

He dropped his eyes from her gaze. Her words stung, and he was surprised that they stung, which hurt more. The burning blossomed in his chest and sank to his stomach; his muscles tightened in the familiar cascade of shame, fear, anger. _Her blood_ …

He stepped toward her and she flinched – almost imperceptibly – then squared her shoulders against him.

And Ben felt his rage fall away as hers flared.

"You should have come with me," he said, his voice a low growl. "It didn't have to -"

She shook her head. "You're right. It didn't. Nothing had to go this way. None of it. Ben, leave us alone."

Rey studied his face, the way he stared at her. Her emotions rose in her chest, the frustration and fear and longing. Yes, as much as she wanted Kylo Ren to leave her alone, even more she wanted Ben Solo to have left the _Supremacy_ with her.

Did she see _sorrow_ in his eyes? Pain always hung around him like a cloud, even when it bubbled over as rage, as now. She could feel his emotions swelling up and abating, anger and pain and sadness. He was so broken, so deeply damaged … He could be so much more than this.

He was alone in his quarters, she could see; the dark room, filled with black fixtures, mirrorless, bare. Ascetic. His black tunic and tabard were uncharacteristically rumpled, his hair mussed and loose. It was almost too intimate; Rey should have been uncomfortable, but Ben's emptiness overwhelmed her.

"The First Order fleet has already left for the West."

Rey gasped. _Could it be?_ "Ben," she whispered. Hope overflowed.

She reached out her hand for his. Reflexively, for just an instant, he responded in kind; their hands touched, the connection between them strong and true. His skin was as warm against hers as if he was there with her in that cavern, his flesh solid as his fingers closed around hers. It felt better to touch him than it should.

Sharply, he snatched his hand away from hers and turned his head. And then he was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

His heart was pounding as he broke the connection between them, his breath coming in gasps. He was alone again in his bare room. Her hand in his, warm and solid … her anger and indignance just as real. It was too much, his emotions when she was near him. He felt such conflict tearing at him.

Ben felt so much. That was the root of all his problems, the power of his emotions, straining inside him, demanding to be let out.

Conflict. Always such conflict.

Here in his room, his monastic cell, he rinsed his face and stepped over his lightsaber on the ground. He sat on the edge of his bed and tried to put her out of his mind. If thinking about her brought them together, he had only not to think about her to avoid actually seeing her face. Or so he hoped.

With no idea where in the galaxy she actually was, he had no idea how long the mission to find her would take. The _Destroyer_ was moving at standard pace into the West –

Ben lay down and drew the cover up around him and over his head, blocking off his view of his room. He shut his eyes and tried to sleep.

She was there with him.

Her body was curled against his, her hand sliding gently over his chest. His breath caught in his throat as she laid her hand on his cheek, then rose over him to kiss his lips. Ben couldn't move, couldn't respond as she unbuttoned the front of his tunic and ran her hands, hot and callused, over his skin. She pressed her body, bare under the fabric of his bedclothes, into him, her hair falling loose like a soft curtain, enclosing them together in his bed.

Gently he moved her to her back, his weight on her, and held her hands above her head against the bed, He kissed her neck and collarbone, her shoulders. She shuddered.


	9. Chapter 9

Rey clanked around under the _Falcon_ , tinkering with the settings, tightening this and loosening that. It was almost back to perfect condition after the somewhat dangerous maneuvers she and Chewie had had to undertake to hide inside the asteroid after the destruction of the _Dreadnought._ It was an awkward, dusty place, but there was water and musty-tasting mushrooms to eat and it was secure enough a place to hide while the First Order fleet moved slowly away into the West.

She had done enough talking to herself while she worked that she'd sent Chewie to be with the others in the main chamber lest he overhear something she didn't want the others to know. Somehow she just couldn't get away from Ben: even when she was able to pry her thoughts away from him, he somehow reached out to her again and she had to start all over.

A soft light caught her attention. _There shouldn't be anyone else here_ , she thought. _Just go away._ Gripping her staff and her torch, she entered the ship and was surprised to see a familiar face.

"Luke!" she nearly screamed. Rey leapt into his arms and tried to embrace him, but his presence was like shadow and there was nothing to hold. Nonetheless she beamed up at his face: he was as she'd last seen him, full of life and vigor – not grey and grizzled as he'd been on Ahch-To. "Master Skywalker, how are you here? I felt your lifeforce leaving, and I …" she trailed off.

Luke, for his part, grinned at his former apprentice, and seated himself at the dejarik table, cocking one eyebrow. "I was wondering how you were doing."

She shook her head. Tears pricked at her eyes. "There's nothing left. Even General Organa is gone." As she said it, she realized what her words must have meant for him. His sister.

He only nodded; of course he must have known. "You can rebuild it." As he spoke, he levitated her lightsaber – _his_ lightsaber _–_ from its hiding spot in behind the seat. She watched as it settled on the table before him and heard it clink as it landed. She stared; of course he knew about it. _Of course he knew_.

She knelt on the floor before him, her master, and sat with her legs crossed, her eyes imploring. Luke's eyes narrowed. "What?"

"I can still talk to him."

He nodded. "Ben is powerful in the Force, Rey. You've seen what he can do."

"There is still good in him."

He sighed. "There _is_ still good in him. But he's dangerous."

She pressed on. "I saw him, Master Skywalker. I know what I saw. I saw him turn. It wasn't just Snoke."

"What reason does he have to turn?" Luke asked her, peering at her. He was leading her, she realized.

But it was a path she didn't want to tread.

"I had every reason but I never turned to the Dark side," she replied.

Luke crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Raised in a backwater, unwanted and alone, dreaming of something more," he intoned. "Is the backstory of both Jedi and Sith. We are responsible for our own choices, Rey from nowhere."

She smiled at the bittersweet memory.

"And you walked up to its precipice and didn't resist when it called. You're so much alike, the two of you."

That made her nervous and she looked away. He continued: "You can both be dangerous. I don't know if you see your own strength, Rey."

"What if I'm not strong enough to help him?" she asked.

The corners of his mouth twitched at the thought. "Oh you are. You're very convincing."

"What if … I don't want to?"

He shifted in his seat, studying her, weighing his words. "Do you? Want to?"

"I'm not sure anymore," she said, but even that wasn't really true. He smiled.

"Ben Solo has always been looking for a reason to turn back. Whether or not he'll actually repent … isn't yet foreseen."

Already he had begun to fade. A panic entered her and she again tried to grasp his hand. "Master Skywalker, please don't go. I have so much more to learn from you."

"Yoda was right about you, Rey," he said. "You have everything you need already."

With that, he was gone.

Warmed by her master's words and thoughts of the fleet getting further away with every moment, Rey fed the porgs and seated herself cross-legged on her sleeping bench. She opened the Jedi text, the blue one with silver lettering that always seemed to call to her, to where she'd left off.


	10. Chapter 10

Ben wrenched his eyes open. He was alone. He ran his hands over himself; he was still dressed in his robes and tunic. His skin was covered.

He patted the bedding beside himself frantically. She was gone. No – she had never been here. Not even through the tenuous, unsettling connection they had.

Relief washed over him and he relaxed back onto his pillow. But something darker snaked into his consciousness: she was about to die.

Ben tore off his covers and crossed his room with a few hurried strides.

" _Cyrian,_ " he called through the comm link. " _Cyrian,_ this is Supreme Leader Ren. Halt your progress and report, _Cyrian._ "

The link was dead. Not even a crackle of static answered his call. He changed tactic.

"Command control, open a link to attack leader _Cyrian._ "

"Supreme Leader," came the frightened reply, after a pause. "General Hux has taken command over _Cyrian_ 's mission."

A roar of fury escaped him and he pounded the comm panel with both fists, breaking it utterly. Kylo Ren then burst from his quarters toward the bridge.

General Armitage Hux stood serenely gazing out into space, into the West where lay the systems controlled by the First Order. Civilized, beautiful systems, where chaos was subdued by order. Peace through control reigned in the West, and the last of the Resistance was about to die in the East. It was a beautiful morning.

The doors to the bridge slid open and even Hux could feel the rage that entered with Kylo Ren. He sneered at the Supreme Leader. "You seem vexed, my lord."

An invisible hand lifted him from the ground by the throat. Ren's eyes were cold slits and he seemed to tremble with wrath, but the hand was steady and unwavering.

"Open communications with the _Cyrian._ "

The grip on his throat released and Hux dropped back down onto his feet. "Supreme Leader," he coughed, attempting to regain composure. "I took control of the _Cyrian_ for the benefit of the Order."

Ren made no response but to glower.

"When they told me of your plan, I was afraid you might lose your resolve, my lord, and gave the command to cut off all further communications with the Gotans. There can be no alterations to their orders."

He didn't hear the lightsaber ignite so much as feel the burning plasma chop into his body.

Kylo Ren swung his saber again, hacking into the sniffing bastard as he fell. The blows rained down on him again and again, all the way through to the floor, until little remained recognizable as General Hux. Ren's voice was hoarse and his breath came in gasps as he extinguished the lightsaber and kicked Hux's boot, which flew across the bridge, foot and leg still inside.

Ren then turned, his black robes swirling around him, to the exit. Without even raising a hand, he repelled the officers who attempted to approach him, knocking them backwards and down off the pathway. He'd have to deal with this himself.


	11. Chapter 11

She had less and less desire to be around the others; the baby porgs were company enough, nesting in the vents of the _Falcon_ and spending their days in her pockets. Her mind seemed constantly to be buzzing, humming with thoughts of _him._ More than once she had let her mind travel down a different path, imagined taking his hand that day on the _Supremacy,_ bringing him home to his mother, sharing a life with him. The thought made her blush. But it was when she imagined standing at his side as coregents, his strong arm around her … sharing absolute control over their own destiny … sharing his bed … that she felt shame. And something else.

He _had_ sent the fleet away. Maybe Master Luke was right; maybe there was still good in him. Maybe he could still be turned.

A distant commotion in the other cavern drew her mind away from idle thoughts and idle manipulation of the materials around her. She rose from her seat and squeezed through the narrow passage to the main chamber. The rest of the remnant stood gathered around the tiny communications panel they'd moved there from the _Falcon_ , listening, hope against hope, day after day.

The voice that emerged from the panel was crackly, distant, and speaking a language she didn't know.

"Do you think it's real?" someone asked.

"The likelihood of receiving a genuine communication from Vashti system is 54,703 to one," C3PO stated.

"You understand it?" Poe asked, turning away from the panel to look at the protocol droid.

"I am fluent in over six million forms of communication, Commander Dameron," Threepio replied, indignant. "And I certainly -"

"What does it say?" Rey interrupted.

He looked at her, surprised, and then back to Poe. "Message to General Organa of the Resistance. Hail and greetings. The people of Dvorah 5 wish you peace and goodwill, and offer a home to you and your followers in Vashti system." He paused. "May the Force be with you."

Silence filled the cavern. Rey realized she wasn't breathing.

"Dvorah 5?" Poe repeated, as Threepio's words sank in. "Where's Dvorah 5?"

"Vashti system," a voice called from the back.

"Vashti system is uninhabited." Finn finally found his voice.

Chewie growled.

"The Aavvaa lack technology for interstellar communications," Threepio corrected him. "And are the only known civilization in Vashti system. Primitive though they are."

"And there's no Dvorah 5," Finn continued. "One through four, but no five."

It was moments like this that reminded Rey how little of the galaxy she had actually seen. Growing up alone on Jakku, she had been consumed with survival and had never learned much of the asterography of the galaxy. Her hidden Jedi texts were the first books she'd ever had of her own, and even then, she knew she was but a steward.

Poe played the message a second time, then a third, listening carefully. It was the first communication they had received in response to Leia's call for assistance on Crait; in the many weeks that had passed, not a word had come from anywhere. As far as they had known, all hope in the galaxy had been extinguished, crushed under the boot of the First Order.

He then walked away from the panel, shaking his head. "Vashti system doesn't have this kind of civilization. This," he said, gesturing back at it, "is a First Order trap."


	12. Chapter 12

Chewie ducked as he passed through the narrow passage back to where the _Falcon_ stood. His disappointment permeated into her. He growled.

"I don't know," she replied, shrugging. How could she explain to him that her distractedness was because she couldn't stop thinking about the man who'd killed his best friend, that best friend's own son? The more often he appeared to her the harder it became to ignore. The intrusive thoughts didn't stop; the dreams continued.

Last night's had been particularly … draining. _His body against her, his weight on her, and her hands pinned above her head, his mouth on hers_ … Rey shook her head, trying to clear the memory.

Between that and Luke's visit, she hadn't slept any longer.

Chewie preceded her into the ship and swept up a baby porg from a vent as he passed, placing it on his shoulder before entering the back room. Rey sat in her usual spot behind the dejarek table and flipped open her book.

She turned the pages with the slightest movement of her fingers. She'd read each one of the books she'd taken from Ahch-To, cover to cover and more than once. She'd meditated on each word, chanted every prayer, and had found more strength than she'd expected in them. The weeks hiding like animals had given her plenty of time to think and do all those things she wished she'd been able to with Luke.

It wasn't the same, but it was something.

The pages of the blue and silver book, her favorite though she didn't know why, swept past her eyes until she saw the map. A full map of the galaxy, covering two full pages, no systems labeled save a few and within those only a few planets were marked.

* * *

"It's not a trap," she shouted over the chatter of the remnant. "Dvorah 5 is a Jedi temple."

The murmur only increased.

"Yeah, but," Finn said, "Kylo Ren's a Jedi. He'd know all about it."

 _That name_ … "Kylo Ren is _not_ a Jedi. And even if he were …" She took a deep breath, trying to calm her heart. "This is not his level."

"It's real?" Poe asked. The tone of his voice was unreadable: hope, perhaps, and fear.

"Vashti's practically on the other side of the galaxy," Rey continued. "If we're gonna go we should leave now."

Poe shook his head. "The fleet. We don't know where they are."

"They're gone," Rey replied, quickly.

"How do you know?" he asked. "How – how can you know that?"

"Come on, man," Finn interjected. "She's got the Force … thing."

Rey wrinkled her nose at that. "If it makes you feel better, I'll monitor the radar while I get the _Falcon_ ready. We need to go." She wasn't sure how long Ben's goodwill might hold out. His mood, anarchic, could not be predicted.

Poe paused and looked away from her, weighing her words. "Okay," he said, at last. "Okay, it's two days in hyperspace. We take enough food and water and ration it. Strict. Careful. An extra day's worth in case … just in case. We got room for that, Rey?"

She nodded, thinking of the smuggling compartments that lined the ship. "Lots of room."

"Get it together; we leave in the morning."

She exchanged a look with Finn from across the room. "Thank you," she mouthed. Chewbacca roared and the others moved to begin gathering supplies for their journey.

* * *

Surface scrapes aside, the _Falcon_ was very nearly ready; a few adjustments to accommodate the extra weight of the supplies and they'd be ready. Rey flipped the switch to increase the volume of the alert of incoming vessels; she trusted Ben's word that the First Order navy was on its way out of the East, but she'd had the alert on since they'd landed here all the same.

She broke open one of the pale green mushrooms that comprised everything that was edible on this rock; it tasted like the inside of the holes where it grew, fetid and grainy. She took a bite, idly, and fed a crumb to the nearest baby porg, which cooed and smacked as it ate. She grinned at it: it didn't mind the taste, or the fact that they were crouching here inside an asteroid in fear and desperation, or the long journey into an unknown and uninhabited system. It was just happy to snuggle with its siblings in their nest. Rey scratched its little head, envious.

 _Beep_.

Rey whirled around to look at the radar panel. The small green light in the corner of the display had not been there before.


	13. Chapter 13

Alone in what others considered his throne room, Ben paced like a lylek caged. _The girl. The girl._

There was blood enough on his hands, figuratively and now literally. He drew in a deep breath and she was there.

She was working with urgency inside the ship, fixing something, putting something away. "Not now, Ben." Not now and not ever, her tone implied.

"First Order ships are coming," he said, as dispassionately as he could muster. "Take the _Falcon_ and get out."

She rolled her eyes and turned to look at him. He looked, frankly, terrible. She knew by now that he controlled he link between them, and while he seemed to care little for outward appearances, he certainly had not chosen his own best moment to reach out to her. As he always did, he hid his height, hunching his shoulders uncomfortably. His dark eyes were uncharacteristically unreadable.

"What do you think I'm doing? I'm getting the _Falcon_ ready to get us out of here and they're getting everything ready," she motioned at the other cavern, imagining the rest of the remnant's frantic work. She sighed and shook her head. "I know you sent them. You lied."

Her words fell like a slap. Shame, ever hovering close at hand, darkened his face and his cheeks burned. "I didn't -" he stammered. "The fleet _is_ gone."

The look she gave him in response was sheer, fiery indignation. But also disappointment, he saw, which burned even more. He pressed on.

"I'm telling you to get out now. They'll be there soon."

"And you want me to what, join you to rule the galaxy?" She was mocking him, he realized.

She was also right: that was _precisely_ what he wanted.

"Just get out. Go now."

She raised an eyebrow. "I'm not leaving the others."

Frustration gripped him, tightening his shoulders. He squeezed his hands into fists, the leather gloves creaking with the pressure.

"Then you'll die."

He could feel her own resolution as she dropped her chin to meet his gaze with her own. "Then I die. I'm not leaving them behind."

Incredulously, he looked away and stifled the growing rage within himself. Her insufferable goodness ...

"Where are you?"

She had picked up a tool of some sort but stopped mid motion to turn back to him. "You've got to be kidding."

"I can't call them off and I can't come and stop them if I don't know where you are!"

Rey looked at him. His tall figure seemed suddenly small in the chamber where he stood, his voice echoing forlornly and eerily alone. She could feel his tension, his conflict.

"Please."

Why couldn't she just see? Why did she have to make everything - _everything_ \- so difficult? Why did she make him beg? Hadn't he already made it clear – _so clear_ – how much he wanted her?

She didn't trust him. Rey didn't trust him.

But she wanted to.

Ben was asking - no, begging. Pleading. _There is still good in him_.

And so she decided to trust. "Mariam asteroid belt. Edge of Yudit system."

Ben took one last, long look at her and vanished.


	14. Chapter 14

"What did I do?" Rey whispered as she scrambled out of the Falcon and over the rocky surface of the main cavern toward the narrow passage that lead to where the others were. Cases of the cave mushrooms were stacked by the exit to the surface; Poe directed as a handful of people pumped water into a large vessel as tall as she was. Chewbacca lifted and moved the outdated radar machine a little closer to the exit.

"We have to go," she shouted to Poe.

"Almost ready," he replied, not looking up.

"No _, now_."

Barely had the words escaped her before a blast like a thunderclap shook the asteroid. Gravel and dust rained down on them.

"Yeah, now," Poe agreed, and they began to seal the vessel.

Finn passed by her, moving quickly, his hands full. "Got the ship ready?"

"Ready as it's going to be," she said, turning back to the passage.

A second blast, closer this time, and the rocks shuddered around them. Sand slid down one of the walls, in an instant covering one of the water vessels and reducing the size of the cavern. Resistance fighters crushed in on one another. Before her eyes the passage back to the Falcon collapsed.

"Dammit!" she screamed. She looked at the frightened faces of her comrades, the cramped space of the cavern full of people and supplies. The moments it would take to move the rocks, and where to put them as she passed through? Streaked with grey space dust, she raised her eyes to the exit to the asteroid surface. It was quicker to run over the surface, she realized, to bring the Falcon to them. She did not hesitate but began to climb toward the exit.

The asteroid surface was pockmarked and bleak. She ducked behind a boulder and glimpsed around it to see the First Order assault ships circling on the nearby horizon. The heavy blasts were increasing; a scream echoed up from the cavern and she laid down flat at the edge to see.

"We're okay," Finn called.

"They're going to break it up," Poe said, ignoring Finn. "Smaller asteroid, no gravity. Forces us out."

She nodded. She had no choice now. Rey stood and looked one more time at the ships in the distance. Half a dozen assault ships and a swarm of drones took turns firing on the bare, dun-colored rock. She turned and ran.

In fact, she didn't hear the sleek command shuttle pull out of hyperdrive far above the surface. What she did hear was the scream of the TIE Fighter that emerged from it.

Rey skidded to a stop, kicking up the sand high into the weak pull of the asteroid. She gripped an outcropping of rock and turned her face up to where the sound had come from.

"Ben," she whispered. She could feel it. The Upsilon-class shuttle hovered, beak open; the Fighter dove down toward the surface and dipped back up, blasters firing green.


	15. Chapter 15

The TIE Fighter was smaller and more agile than the assault ships and had a better pilot than any of them. He was picking off the drone ships one at a time and dodging the fire of the manned vessels. Rey's heart was in her throat; she felt sick watching him weave and bob.

At the same time, she wanted to cry.

The dogfight seemed to continue for ages. Ben fired his lasers nearly constantly, twisting and arcing his flight path. He was only one hit away, she realized, from losing control, but somehow continued to keep it together.

She couldn't take her eyes away from the battle, even as the ground beneath her felt increasingly unstable. The First Order assault leaders, when not under direct fire, continued to batter the asteroid. Drones fell like flies or spun into pieces as they escaped orbit but the larger ships held on longer.

One cracked loudly when Ben hit it, before crashing ungainly into the surface of the rock. Rey ducked as debris flew past her.

Above her, two of the manned ships swung in a wide arc opposing each other, firing red laser blasts at Ben's tiny Fighter as they traveled. At the last instant he pulled up and the assault leaders crashed into one another, raining metal onto the asteroid.

She was slowly crawling toward the entrance to the cavern where lay the Falcon, never taking her eyes off him.

"Come on, Ben," she whispered. She wondered if he could hear. "Ben ..."

He dipped and twisted his path into a dangerous corkscrew, then pulled up on the controls; suddenly behind his opponent's ship, he fired a double blast and it exploded. Two remained.

"Use the Force," she murmured. "Oh, Ben, use the Force." She was nearly at the cavern's mouth when the ground gave a groan; the asteroid itself was beginning to lose orientation.

The gunmetal command shuttle, reflecting the image of each report of the blasters, began to close. He had come alone - who was operating the shuttle? Its defense guns began to hum and glow, and then the entire shuttle trembled.

Ben's TIE Fighter looped around, leading the remaining assault leaders toward the shuttle. As it began to tear apart, sending pieces of itself flying toward the assault leaders and Ben, one of the Gotans got off a final shot that struck true.

The shrapnel that had been the command shuttle ripped open the assault leaders, their contents spilling into the empty space above her head, and Ben's TIE Fighter spun out of control as it fell to the ground.


	16. Chapter 16

"Ben!" she screamed as she ran. The smoldering wreckage lay ahead of her; in the thin atmosphere, it was hard to catch her breath, but she ran on. Up the rocks she climbed, gravel spraying as she pulled down stone from stone, panic – terror – rising painfully in her. "Ben!"

At last she reached it. The front end of the Fighter was broken and crushed inward to the cockpit, acrid smoke rising from it, sparks crackling and leaping. Rey peered in through the flight visor, where she could see his face. He drew breath and she knew he was alive.

The blue blade of Rey's lightsaber tore through the door panel of the TIE Fighter, allowing her just enough space to grip it and pull it free, revealing Ben. He was pinned between the controls and his seat; dark blood was streaked across his forehead and his black hair was stuck to his cheek. He hadn't been wearing his helmet, she realized, but the real damage was to his torso.

"Leave," he snarled. "Go."

Rey crawled toward him through the door of the Fighter, panic closing her throat against the screams that threatened to escape. With her own eyes – not through the Force, but in person – she could see him. He was bruised, damaged, but he did not look away from her. Pleading, she realized, for her to go and escape with her own life. She whispered his name, softly, incredulously. Frantically, Rey pulled the Fighter controls away from him and as her hands made contact with his body she could feel him. The lifeforce within him was weakening – but was not yet quenched.

"Go," he hissed again. Rey turned and peered out the door, at the assault landers streaking past them in the space above their tiny asteroid. She could only imagine where the others were; there was only one life she could hope to save here.

She turned back to him: he had his eye squeezed shut against the pain, his brow furrowed deeply as he struggled feebly to push her away. Rey easily slipped out of his grasp and put her hands on either side of his face, her eyes fixed on his. " _You are worth saving_."

Ben gasped; tears formed in his dark eyes. A strangled sob escaped him. "I'm not worth your life," he choked. "I'm nothing."

She shook her head slowly. "Not to me."

Ben's body was freed from the vice of the cockpit, but there was still work to be done. She climbed out backwards, never dropping his gaze, until she was standing again on the firm ground. With one hand, Rey drew his body out of the Fighter as over behind her rose the _Millennium Falcon._

* * *

 **Constructive Criticism is appreciated!**


	17. Chapter 17

She laid him on the floor of the main room of the _Falcon_. His face was contorted with pain and outside the ship the thunderous assault of the First Order strikers made it hard to concentrate. Still, she managed to close the bay doors behind them so she could at least study his wounds. Kneeling beside him, she unbuttoned the front of his tunic to expose bare, purpled flesh.

"What are you doing?" he croaked, weakly.

"Shut _up._ I'm _helping_ you."

Rey's hands hovered over Ben's abdomen. The organ damage was severe. He was no longer paying attention to her, as he alternated between writhing in pain and catatonic silence. With a flick of her wrist, she opened the drawer beneath the dejarik table where she had secreted the precious texts; one book, dark blue with silver lettering, slid through the air to her, and, with a single gesture, she opened it to the desired passage.

A focusing chant was written in script along the margins. Rey did her best to pronounce the words, repeating them three times until they seemed right. Then she closed her eyes and repeated it, softly, then silently. Her own lifeforce seemed to rise within her; her chest felt warm, her hands like fire as she pushed it out of herself and into him instead.

He had grown still again, and fear gripped her. Was she doing it wrong? She opened her eyes and looked down at his broken body. His flesh was still red and purple, but his face was calm.

Rey stood and with her she raised his body. Her hand brushed the empty air and he glided beside her to the tiny back control room. With her other hand, she gestured open the smuggling compartment hidden in the floor, its lid creaking with age and disuse. She lowered Ben gently inside and jumped down beside him.

She slipped her cloak off her shoulders and bundled it into a pillow to place beneath his head. His eyes followed her as she tucked his robes around him and prepared the cramped compartment.

"Why?" he whispered.

She crouched down to meet his gaze. She was surprised at the tenderness of her own touch as she swept his damp and bloody hair off his forehead and traced an inch of the scar she herself had made. Over so many conversations, so much time together, she had touched his hands many times; once she had even longed to take his hand in person and be with him at his side. But never more than that, no matter how much of her wanted to. Here he seemed so small and frightened and childlike, not the strong, violent man she knew. _Why?_ She had no answer she could give him.

Rey leaned closer down to him, his breath shallow but steady. Her heart was racing, pounding against her chest, its sound louder in her ears than the cracking of the stone around them.


	18. Chapter 18

"Get in!" Rey shrieked, clinging to the open bay doors of the _Falcon,_ which hovered over the entrance to the cavern where the remnant of the Resistance huddled.

"It's breaking up," Poe said to Rey as he entered her ship, referring to the asteroid. "Gotta get the supplies."

Chewbacca emerged from the cavern first, in his arms the remaining water vessel; behind him came Finn, Rose, Connix, and D'Acy each carrying multiple bundles of mushrooms.

"I've got less room than I thought," Rey said nervously to Poe, as Chewie lifted the floor panels to reveal the storage areas.

"Yeah, well," Poe replied. "I've got less stuff than I thought. We lost a lot in the cave-in."

She nodded and closed the bay doors, in time to watch the entrance from which they had just emerged crumble inward. Rey swung herself into the cockpit and kicked the _Falcon_ into hyperdrive as the asteroid beneath them trembled and roared and shattered.

* * *

For several hours, the remnant was a silent gathering of frightened and trembling souls. As time passed, though, and they became more and more convinced of their safety and the feeling of hope began to rise. Chatter gave way to silence again, as most found places to curl up, eat their rations of mushrooms, and fall asleep.

Rey piloted her ship, alone in the cockpit. No sense of relief reached her, as she thought about her secret cargo. Ben, as he had for weeks, dominated her thoughts, but now she allowed herself to dwell on him. He was alive, she could feel, but weakened and wounded. Rey's work had relieved enough of his pain that she hoped he was able to sleep – and stay quiet.

A soft rap on the cockpit door broke her reverie and made her jump.

Finn creaked open the door and peered in. "Need a break?"

She smiled and muttered his name. "You okay?" she asked, trying to force herself to be calm.

He entered and shut the door behind him. "I am, but you don't look like it. It's going to be okay, you know?" She nodded and dropped her gaze. "You look kind of pale. Have you eaten?" he asked. He drew a lump of mushroom out of the bag on his shoulder.

"Thanks," Rey said, taking it. "We need to be careful with it, though. Who knows how long we'll be out here."

"You should eat," Finn insisted, ignoring her. "Go on. I'll watch up here."

Rey nodded. In truth, she was grateful for the chance to escape the cockpit. She had other business to see to. In the main room of the ship, she stepped around her sleeping comrades and made her way to the back room. As silently as she could she shut the door behind her and turned to the smuggling compartment in the middle of the floor.

She stretched out her hand and focused on raising the heavy cover as quietly as possible. There inside the compartment lay Ben, his imposing figure curled up awkwardly. He looked up at her, his expression unreadable.

"You look terrible," she said, quietly. She slid down to the bottom of the compartment and sat cross-legged in front of him, in the scant space of the compartment not occupied by him.

 _You don't look much better_.

"Here," she said, handing him her ration. "Some kind of fungus. You get used to the taste."

Ben tried to sit up, but only made it part of the way. His whole body ached. Since boyhood he'd known pain and bruises: he'd been in innumerable fights in and out of his uncle's lessons, and he'd crashed more than one speeder on Chandrila. But he'd never been shot down in open space before, never felt his ship crumple inward around him. His head throbbed and he was sure he could feel the rush of blood with each heartbeat.

But the pain was at least a distraction from his thoughts.

The pale green lump she gave him looked repulsive but he accepted it with both hands and lifted it to take a bite. The taste was no better than the appearance, but he was hungry. Rey was watching him as he painfully chewed the crumbly meal.

What was in her eyes? He could take what he wanted from her, he knew; he could access her thoughts if he wanted to. If she let him. If he hadn't been so physically broken.

He knew perfectly well that she had concealed him here and that the rest of the Resistance – what little remained – was sleeping just feet away from him. He could do nothing, however, through the pain and through the damage to his body.

And what would he do if he were at his full strength? Ben wasn't sure.

"What?" Rey asked. Whole minutes had passed in silence, he realized, as he'd been slowly chewing and ruminating on his current situation. Ben made no answer.

She represented the parts of himself that he hated most. Weakness. Emotion. Because of her he'd abandoned the First Order. They'd know he was gone by now; the question passed through his mind, would anyone _want_ him to return?

"You're so afraid," Rey said, interrupting his thoughts. She'd used the Force to read him – or perhaps it was just obvious.

He blinked at her and swallowed the last bite of the grainy mushroom.

"I used to hide in here when I was a child," he said. "Right before he'd leave, I'd hide in here and hope he wouldn't notice until it was too late and I could come with him."

For an instant, Rey tried to imagine Ben as a child, tiny and hopeful, missing his father.

"I used to go out to the rock crags and wait for them to come to get me and hoped they hadn't forgotten about me," she mused. That little girl, all alone.

"They gave me away. I _knew_ they had forgotten about me."

"I just wanted to be important to someone. For someone to notice me."

"I was never good enough. For any of them."

Rey reached out her hand and he took it. Not through their Force bond, but together; his hand enveloped hers and pulled her closer. His touch was warm and surprisingly soft. She wrapped her other hand around his and drew it to her heart.

For several moments they sat together, barely breathing. Rey was sure her chest would break open; she closed her eyes and touched her forehead to his. In such close physical proximity, Ray could feel Ben's emotions. If it was his physical pain making him more open, she couldn't tell. She could feel that pain, yes, but also such grief, confusion, and most of all fear. He was possessed of a power that frightened him, as it frightened everyone he encountered; his intensity, the burning of the soul that existed so shallowly beneath his exterior. Ben was like a child, trying to understand a broken world. He'd been used, his strength manipulated by Snoke as a beautiful figure head and, when it came to Ray, a honeypot. He could see all of that now, and she could see it in him.

As for her, as she forced herself to lower her defenses, to let him in, she too felt afraid. Calling up, afraid and alone, she never been so close to another person. Trusting him was a conscious choice. She made it.

"You and I -"

"I love you," he interrupted. The fire that passed through her was unlike anything she had ever experienced. She recognized it from her dreams, the feeling, the longing to be known. Everyone still alive who had ever cared about her was on that ship that moment, friends she had never had her whole life before. And no one had ever said those words to her. No one.

She felt her breath escape her, trembling. "I know."

She felt it. Could see it in the pleading in his eyes. To be known… to be accepted… was a gift they could offer each other. She closed the few inches between them and pressed her lips to his.


	19. Chapter 19

She laid down on the ground in front of the back chamber door. She'd slept hungry many times in her life, and tonight was no different. As long as she lay there in the threshold, Ben was safe inside; that was enough peace for now.

Not long had passed, though, before she was woken by Finn's insistent prodding.

"Rey," he whispered, looking over his shoulder at the others, still sleeping. "Rey, you're talking in your sleep."

Her eyes sprang open. " _What did I say_?"

"You kept saying, Ben, Ben," Finn replied, shaking his head. Terror washed over her. "I think you were dreaming about, you know, _Han_."

She was sitting up now, her face even with Finn's as he knelt in front of her. The sense of panic drained away and she felt light – too light.

Several seconds they sat together, listening to the breathing of the others. "Who's in the cockpit?"

"Chewie," he said. "With your critter things."

Rey nodded. She felt safe with Finn, her very first friend. _Human_ friend, anyway. "Did you get any sleep?"

"Enough. Listen," Finn began, a little breathless all of a sudden. "How did we – you know, how did we escape the asteroid?"

She met his eyes. How much did he know? The knowledge that she could scan his mind flicked through her thoughts; she forced herself to dismiss it.

"I mean, why didn't the First Order ships wait for us to come out and then shoot us? Why would they just take off?"

"I don't know," she whispered, the words slipping out of her.

"Do you – do you think we're being tracked?"

"You're a Stormtooper; what do you think?"

"I _used_ to be a Stormtrooper," he corrected. "And that wasn't exactly part of my job. Maybe they're tracking us and that's why they didn't shoot us."

"We're not being tracked," she stated with finality.

At last seeming comforted, Finn muttered, "But how do you know?"

"I just do," Rey said, softly.


	20. Chapter 20

The third day, Chewie pulled the _Falcon_ out of hyperspace and before them lay the planet Dvorah 5. Rey stood beside him in the cockpit, unable to speak: it was a perfect blue-green marble, clouds swirling around it. Only weeks ago, she had been a scavenger on a desert planet, never seeing so much as a tree, and now she captained a freighter of her own and beheld worlds of water and jungle. And perhaps most of all, she knew, on that world was safety.

That they had exited hyperspace was, of course, clear to everyone; a hum of excitement rose from the main chamber. Poe began delivering orders about how to unload the ship, but Rey didn't listen. Instead she only reached out for Ben, grateful he was still alive.

As the _Falcon_ touched down, Rey was the first to disembark. Layers of jungle topped with wispy clouds; the ground was soft and damp beneath their feet. The calls of unknown animals echoed mysteriously along with the sound of falling water somewhere in the distance. "It's perfect," she said to no one.

"Yeah, it is," Finn said behind her. The rest of the remnant slowly poured out of the bay doors and into the small clearing. Some came carrying the meager remainder of the mushroom supply; others bore half-portion water jugs.

And as she turned to look at them, at the top of a distant hill Rey saw the temple.

Ruddy bricks, worn by centuries of rain, paved the entryway. Stones as tall as she was, each one intricately carved with designs she did not know, were stacked one upon the other, mortarless. The doorframe was tall and imposing, and carved above it was an image she had seen before: a meditating figure in black and white.

Her reverie was interrupted by a roar from inside the _Falcon._ As quickly as she turned around she saw Chewbacca throw out the bay door Ben's body.

* * *

The other Resistance fighters scrambled away from him, forming a circle as they stared and blinked at the crumpled form of Kylo Ren in the dust. Rey gasped; the horror of it, of Chewbacca's discovery that all this time they'd been hauling his best friend's murderer, of the other fighters who saw the embodiment of the First Order, sank in to her like an unbearable weight. Poe drew his blaster and aimed.

"NO!" she screamed, running towards them both. As she moved, she drew out her lightsaber. Ben was still stunned, lying supine on the ground, when she reached him and positioned herself over him, crouched, saber ignited.

Although it was Poe's blaster she faced, it was Finn's face she could see. It changed in an instant from fear to something else – disappointment, sadness, grief. His shoulders dropped and the blaster he held – she had not seen it before – sank to his side. Through the Force she could feel his pain and realized, for the first time, that for his part, friendship was not all he felt for her. She had chosen Ben, and she had lied. All this passed in an instant.

"Move, Rey," Poe said, distracting her.

"You're not going to hurt him," she replied, through gritted teeth.

"I'll go through you if I have to," he continued. His eyes never left Kylo Ren.

She swung the saber, aiming for his blaster; it danced easily out of range, and Poe, startled by her response, took a half step back.

Someone else took the first shot. Rey deflected it with her blade, its distinctive hum intensifying as it absorbed the energy of the bolt.

Ben was standing now, awkwardly, his knees bent and shoulders sloped; the damage to his abdomen made it hard to maintain much of an upright posture. She could hear his panting breath behind her and then the sound of his lightsaber igniting. The others, stupefied by his sudden appearance among them, could only watch and shoot their blasters desperately at them.

It only lasted a moment before, as quickly as the onslaught had begun, the bolts seemed to freeze and hang in the air. Rey's hand, outstretched, held them back and fixed her friends still before her.

* * *

Ben made a noise – a grunt, a wince – that drew Rey's attention to him. She did not need to look at him to know what he was thinking: physical pain still shrouded him but to her he emanated concern and fear. He also made her look up to see the three hooded figures that had appeared at the edge of their clearing.

Each was dressed in pewter-colored robes, cloth-of-silver trim shimmering under the sun. One woman and two men, old but not ancient. Watching the proceedings in silence.

"Welcome," said the woman.

One of the men motioned sharply and every weapon clattered to the ground. "There can be no violence on this land."

"Come inside," said the third.


	21. Chapter 21

Utter relief washed over her and Rey realized that tears had formed in her eyes. She and Ben both ducked and she released the blaster bolts, which hit trees behind them. "You're Jedi," she said, her voice trembling more than she intended.

"No, we are not," said one of the men. "But we revere the Force and we mean you no harm."

"Come," the other man added. The remnant looked back and forth, one to the other, unsure what to do.

Poe, now disarmed, shrugged. "I guess we go in."

Rey moved first. Peace – incredible peace – was flowing through her; her heart was swelling with excitement and hope. She could also feel Finn's eyes upon her and she avoided his gaze. "Wait," she called. "He's hurt." She indicated Ben, who was still on his feet, but hunched and wincing with the effort. "Can you help him?"

"Of course," said the woman. Her voice was soft and kind, her eyes warm and concerned. Rey could feel each one of them; they seemed to glow. She was tall with long brown hair shot through with silver; her face was angular but her expression soft, and she had neither eyebrows nor eyelashes to define her. She might have been very beautiful on another planet. Rey had never met anyone who was so connected to the Force; Luke had cut himself off entirely but she had not known it until so much later, and Ben – Ben's lifeforce was forever complicated, not only by his use of the Darkside but by her feelings for him. Impossibly complicated.

"Do you know who that is?" Finn shouted. Rey wasn't sure if he was talking to her or to the woman. "It's Kylo Ren! He's the Supreme Leader of the First Order!"

"Kylo Ren you call yourself." Her voice was calm and deep. She kept her gaze upon him. "I am Moriah. Come."

Rey could not bring herself to look at the others as they filed into the pyramidal temple.

* * *

The remnant of the Resistance was led inside and into the main chamber of the temple. Tall within, with an open eye at the top of the ceiling. Rey watched as they took Ben away; in the pit of her chest rose to her throat as that which she'd been guarding disappeared down a corridor and into a separate chamber. Within Ben to fret over, how could she bear to be alone with the others? With Finn?

The woman Moriah took Rey's arm. "They'll all be fine. Will you give me your attention?"

More grateful to be away from the others, and ashamed of that realization, she dropped back.

"You've been keeping him alive using your own lifeforce," she observed. Rey nodded, barely. It was true: she'd gone without her rations. "Good work."

"You're not going to kill him?" she asked hesitantly."Even though he's …"

Moriah smiled wanly. "No. We do not bring destruction; only salvation."

Rey thought about that for a moment, her eyes downcast. Everything since she arrived here - everything since she'd left Jakku - was so overwhelming.

"Let me show you, you who call yourself Rey." They walked together, away from the others, through a darkened hallway and into an open atrium. Green plans hung lusciously from pots suspended against the walls, gathered around a simple pool in the center in which floated lily pads and flowers. Clear light streamed in through the open ceiling and filtered through the leaves. "We have been here for millennia, isolated, keeping the old ways."

She held up her hand and pointed toward an image, the figure meditating in black and white, mosaic on the wall. "You know them. You've read the texts."

Indeed she had. Every word, even the parts that seemed strange and too opaque to penetrate.

"The Jedi and the Sith kept a balance for some time, but each became too sure, too sure in their own way. They could not sustain."

"Why didn't you intervene?" Rey heard herself ask. "If you knew how to stop all that destruction?"

The Watcher smiled, like a mother with her beloved child, and squeezed Rey's hand. "We are not warriors here; we are Watchers. We are a beacon of hope, an example to follow when the time is right. And now it is right. The galaxy is turning, Rey, away from domination and toward balance." She glanced at the image, still hovering and glowing beside them. "He is darkness, with a light inside of him, and you are a light where darkness dwells."

Ben. Rey felt the mention of him like a sudden shudder.

"Darkness," she repeated.

The Watcher nodded. "Protecting him from your friends. That was brave, and selfish. Your motives were not pure."

The Watcher was right. Rey's decision had been to defend Ben because ... because she couldn't imagine not having him.

"Dvorah can be a beacon again, Rey; a symbol of balance."

"How?"

"I don't know. That's why you're here."


	22. Chapter 22

He opened his eyes and squeezed them shut again. He was in the medical bay of the temple; he could both see it and remember the treatments. He cursed himself silently: how could he be so weak, so desperate, so _pathetic_ as to destroy his shuttle and crash his Silencer, his own TIE Fighter, and all for, what? To end up here, treated as an invalid, laid out flat on a cot while strangers manipulated his lifeforce.

The familiar torrent overtook him: rage tensed his shoulders, his arms, his fists. He pounded the edge of the cot with enough violence to cause it to tremble, a roar of frustration escaping him.

But in doing so he had a realization: the pain that made it unbearable to tense his abdomen and nearly impossible to sit up like a man was gone. Well, not gone entirely, but so reduced that it was more an ache like after too long a practice with his saber. The headache was gone, replaced with his usual sharpness and vigor.

Ben sat up and noticed that he was dressed in clothes that were not his own. His weapon was not nearby, but he was alone in the cell. Light crept in from the doorway, which had no door, and from the window into the corridor, which had a filigree screen and no glass. He was not a prisoner, not restrained in any way, but a patient receiving treatment. The tension drained from him and he sighed.

Rey. She entered the room in silence, standing for a moment in the doorframe as if unsure. Then she approached his cot, slowly. She was really there – he could smell her skin, freshly bathed. Her hair was down and loose, falling to her waist. And she was dressed in a grey, knee-length jacket over loose charcoal trousers, her feet bare on the polished paving stones. If he hadn't known her lifeforce signature so well, he might not have recognized her.

She took a hesitant step into his room. There was something so calming about her to him, like an echo.

He could feel the hesitation, the anxiety; forced himself to lower his own defenses a little further, and at last Rey sat at the edge of his cot. "I was really worried," she whispered, peering up into his face.

He'd been more of less fully capable in manipulating the Force since he was a young man in his teens; reading the minds of those around him, while not exactly something Luke had taught him, was second nature - as was keeping his own defenses high enough that no one could read his. Luke had managed it, and for a while so had Snoke, but never had Ben actually allowed it. But Rey - she could easily surmount his barriers, if she wanted, and he, somehow, felt no need to put them up. Between the two of them words were barely necessary, so strong was the bond that seemed to hum and vibrate with a life of its own. Yes: it was a bond. He could feel her thoughts; she ... actually wanted him near.

The mighty Kylo Ren, felled by a woman.

"I've done terrible things." The articulation seemed necessary.

Rey shook her head and, inexplicably, intertwined her fingers with his. A rising sensation filled him: he was nervous.

"I can't offer you absolution. It's not mine to give." The emotions flowed between them seamlessly, terrifyingly. There was no shell of Kylo Ren protecting the soft interior that was Ben Solo. "But your father died forgiving you, and Luke and Leia still had hope."

 _Hope._

Atonement … somehow. It was indeed his only hope.

Long moments passed in silence and in communion. He kissed her. It was easier this time, when he could feel her calling for him to do so. Ben Solo, who felt too much, was inundated with her emotions. Nervousness, fear, excitement, peace ... all rushed through her and out of her, mingling with his own. Their joint memory - it was impossible to say who thought of what - called up a moment, an interrogation, the first time they had felt the unsettling union. He nearly shuddered with humiliation and she dismissed the thought on both of their behalfs.

 _Maybe this is what is feels like to be accepted._

 _To be not alone._

 _To have a family._

They were perfect echoes of each other, their individual awareness melting into something new, something shared. It was unlike his interrogation technique, which required force and offered no pleasure; some people, those with no sensitivity to the Force, let him in easily, like the Resistance pilot - the one that was here with them now. That one had only his stubborn nature and physical strength to defend himself, and Ben handily outmatched him on both. Rey had required both more strength and more finesse, but even then, once she figured out his trick, she simply used it against him. This was not like that: no force, no harm, no pain. Just ... melting.

"I should go," she said aloud.

"Stay," he whispered, brushing her hair behind her shoulder. "Stay."

Rey smiled. "Someday," she replied, and she meant it.


	23. Chapter 23

Leaving his room, Rey felt lightheaded - in the best possible way. She'd had a bath - a real bath - for the first time she knew of (she'd never seen so much clear water) and not this. She knew what would have happened if she'd stayed with Ben - she'd imagined it so many times - but there seemed all the time in the world for it now that they were safe.

She still wasn't sure how to handle the problem of Kylo Ren. If only it were just her and Ben, and the Supreme Leader of the First Order had nothing to do with it. Regardless of his flaws, his misdeeds, there was compassion and kindness there too, and Rey - well, she was in love with him, wasn't she? Yes, that's what this was: she stopped just shy of the crossing of the corridor and leaned against the wall. Yes. That's what this was.

As she tried to catch her breath and deal with her swirling emotions, footsteps, quick and worried, approached. It was Rose; what her rank and title were, Rey couldn't remember. All the bravura of war seemed so petty when people were dying around her.

"Rey," Said the girl, interrupting Rey's thoughts. "I need to talk to you."

She really didn't feel like chatting. They were here, they were safe, and they could deal with Rey's choices in the morning. She kept walking. "I don't think you're supposed to be talking to me right now."

"Listen," Rose continued with growing intensity. "I know that life is usually a lot more complicated than it seems on the outside. I don't understand what you're doing but I have other problems right now. Finn is missing."

That stopped her.

Satisfied that she had Rey's attention, Rose went on: "And he's got your droid. And ... your ship."

Rey knew how to swear in half a dozen languages; she used almost all of them as she and Rose ran toward the front gate of the temple complex.

At the bottom of the hill, where the millennium falcon should have been, was nothing. Inside the temple she hadn't heard it fire up, hadn't noticed the sound of it leaving Dvorah 5's atmosphere.

"Oh no, no, no," Rey murmured. "Finn, what did you do?"

"He used to be a stormtrooper; did you know that?" Rose replied, despite the fact that Rey hadn't really been talking to her. "He wouldn't have ... gone back, would he?"

"I have no idea what he's doing," Rey replied. "We need to tell Poe."

"Yeah," Rose agreed. Rey sensed something about her; there was more urgency and fear in her than Rey would have expected from a colleague, even one who'd been on an adventure with Finn like Rose had. "But Commander Dameron's not exactly in the mood to talk to you."

She couldn't really blame him for that.

"You go tell him then. I'll go find one of the Watchers."

"The Watchers?" Rose repeated.

"The temple guardians."

"They're not Jedi? I thought they were Jedi, like the stories. It's a Jedi temple, isn't it?"

"I'm not exactly sure what they are," Rey conceded. "Or how they're connected to the Jedi exactly. But I'm pretty sure they can help."


	24. Chapter 24

Rey arrived in the main atrium of the temple, her heart pounding in her chest. Having been here only a few hours, she wasn't entirely sure of the layout or where to find the people in charge; they had assured her that they would be at her disposal, but did they really mean she could come to them before dawn? Then again, this was an emergency.

The lush greenery was no less impressive in the dark. The flowers that had been open in the sunlight were closed, and others had opened up to receive the moths and other insects that passed in and out of the main eye in the ceiling. Water trickled down multiple steps in the wall, and into the pool in the center. With so much of the foliage curled up for the night, she could better see the shape of the pool and its edges. In other conditions, should would have liked to sit and enjoy it, but for now she had only time to assure herself that her hosts were not here. She moved quickly on to the room beyond.

This was the dining space, lit dimly with the embers of a hearth at one end. Three rows of benches and tables filled it; her companions had eaten here while she had talked with Moriah. Where had they gone after that? Rose looked like she, like Rey, had gotten a bath and a change of clothes, so Rey had to assume the same for everyone. They'd be sleeping somewhere in the temple – right? She should be able to hear Chewbacca's snoring, she was sure of it.

She was also sure that none of them wanted to see her, and there was no point in seeking them out. Rose had come to her moved by sentiment and the conviction – however undeserved – that Rey could do something about Finn's vanishing, but Rey was not at all sure what that would be. If the others could offer any help in finding Finn, Rey was sure that Poe would do what he could – just as sure as she was that he didn't want to hear about it from Rey.

Beyond the dining hall was a corridor. To the left, Rey could feel a large conglomeration of lifeforms; a few steps in that direction told her that it was her friends, sharing a single room as they had on the _Falcon_. She had to assume that Rose was conveying the message to Poe. Rey moved back down the corridor in the other direction, hopefully toward the rooms where the Watchers were.

The corridor was dark and the torches that lined the walls were extinguished. The ceiling was solid above her to keep the path dry in the rains, but Rey did not know that. At nearly twenty years of age, she had no recollection of rain at all. The cold snow of D'Qar had been her only experience with precipitation of any sort, and, novel as it had been, she wasn't sure she liked it. It seemed too unpredictable to be really enjoyable. The rainy reason here on Dvorah 5 would have come as a complete surprise to her.

She was still barefoot and therefore silent as she walked quickly, unsure of where she was headed. At the end of the corridor, she suddenly came upon a set of stone stairs that led up into a dark second floor. To each side were rooms; which way to go? She sighed and decided to reach out ahead of herself in the Force, feeling for life. Someone was awake in the room to her left; she decided to enter.

"My child," said the old man, as Rey entered the dark space. She couldn't see more than the outline of a figure seated on the floor, and was discomfited by his recognition of her. "Come in, come in."

She obeyed, hesitantly, and the hearth in that room crackled to life. She could see him then, one of the men who had met them when they'd arrived. He was old but hale, seated on a low cushion and dressed in the pewter-colored garment that seemed to be the standard dress here. He had blue eyes and thick, white hair. His face was clean-shaven and, she decided, friendly.

"You should be sleeping. Did you not like your accommodations?"

"No – I mean, yes, I did," she said, thinking of the small chamber she'd been brought to. Like all the rooms here it had no door; a soft, narrow bed was the only furniture. She'd considered lying down after she'd eaten the food they'd brought her – anything at all had been delicious after several weeks of mushrooms and then nothing at all for three days – but her desire to check on Ben had overridden her exhaustion. Now a different problem was keeping her from it. "Master …?"

"Edric," he replied, warmly, beckoning her further toward him and indicating a cushion nearby. She sat.

"Master Edric, I need your help," she began. There was no point in a preamble. "My friend has gone missing. He used to work for the First Order and I think he – he might have gone back."

Edric nodded, knowingly. "And you want to know if we have ships you can borrow to chase him."

It sounded somewhat inappropriate when put so succinctly like that.

"I'm afraid I can't help you with that," he continued. "We do not leave here and we have no use for vehicles capable of leaving our atmosphere. Those who come from outside either leave again or stay and let their vehicles turn to dust in the jungle."

Rey's heart sank. _Finn …_

"What would you do if you followed him?" Edric asked. It was, she knew, a rhetorical question: what would she do, but fly straight back into the hands of the First Order? "It's the one called Finn," Edric observed, nodding again. "Why would he leave?"

She didn't want to say what she thought – couldn't bring herself to articulate the words.

"Hmm," he continued. "And now you have no way to leave yourself."

"No, we don't. But there's really nowhere for the rest of us to go. If Finn …" The words caught in her throat. "If he's gone back to the Order, he'll be able to tell them exactly where we are, all of us, including …" _Including their Supreme Leader, whom they must think we captured or whom they know betrayed them; either way …_ Dawn was beginning to penetrate the window behind Edric. Rey realized that her hands were trembling as she spoke. Many kinds of horror were washing over her in succession as she watched the tiny tendril of orange on the horizon. "What do you know about the First Order?"

"Everything," said a woman's voice, as Moriah entered the room. "We are Watchers, Rey – observers. We know quite well what the First Order offers."

Edric's attention instantly left Rey and he turned to face Moriah instead. From Rey's position on the floor, she looked tall and imposing, dressed in a long white robe.

" _Offers_?" Edric repeated incredulously, rising from his seat.

"Don't be dim, Edric. Haven't you grown tired of waiting?"

"For the Prime Jedi? Never!" Edric replied quickly. He squared himself against Moriah, his countenance suddenly very serious and grave.

"She's here! Beside you! Don't deny that; you felt it as soon as they landed."

He shook his head. Rey's mind was swirling. _Prime Jedi? What is that and how am I it?_

"You know I did, but she's not ready, and the First Order -"

"Not ready? Well _he_ is," Moriah interrupted.

 _What in the galaxy is going on?_


	25. Chapter 25

"I have no idea, BB-8," Finn muttered.

The rotund mechanical beeped urgently from his spot in the cockpit doorway where several of his robotic arms were plugged in to various ports in the controls.

"I hadn't thought of that. I guess," he replied. He flipped a few switches and the _Falcon_ lurched nauseatingly in space. He had no idea how to fly; what had he been thinking?

BB-8 sputtered a few more beeps and whirs at Finn.

"Oh come on, there's no need for that kind of language. We're going to figure this out."

In fact, Finn didn't really have much of a plan at all, and the droid knew it. BB-8 hadn't wanted to come along but Finn had been struck by desperation as he lay in his cot in the Jedi temple on Dvorah 5 and had all but carried the little mechanical out to the _Falcon._ He'd watched Rey enough times to know how to get the ship started and he also knew that once they were in the air BB-8 would be able to override the controls and do most of the actual flying. Finn was sick with distress and worry; someone would surely have noticed his absence by now – there weren't that many of them in the first place – and he had a feeling that they might guess where he was headed. The First Order ship _Destroyer_ was on his radar and coming up fast as they traveled in hyperspace.

Finn wasn't sure if he was more proud of or furious with himself. This was essentially a suicide mission.

"Look," he said to the droid. "Once we're on board, I'll go and take care of it. If I'm not back pretty quickly, then you get yourself out and back to Dvorah 5, with or without me."

They pulled out of hyperspace and the First Order ship loomed ahead of them. Finn felt like he might throw up. BB-8 beeped softly.

"Well you need to tell them," he said, choosing his words carefully. He thought of Rey, who didn't want him after all, who wanted instead the Supreme Leader of everything Finn hated, everything he knew Rey hated, too. Had been seduced by him, drawn away, pulled closer into the Dark side. The First Order, and all it represented, had to end. "Tell them I didn't betray them, okay?"


	26. Chapter 26

After she left, Ben couldn't sleep. He could sense her moving around the temple, consternation attending her, worry about some matter with the Resistance. Not his to worry about it. Sleep – with the mandatory loneliness and stillness and isolation with one's thoughts – had always been elusive for him. He'd start thinking about something from the day and roll it over and over in his mind, helplessly trapping himself in a loop. When he could grasp enough concentration and focus, meditation came more easily, and with that often came sleep, when, exhausted from such focus, his mind finally calmed down enough to let sleep come. Snoke had taught him from an early age how to clear his mind and fill his thoughts with the Force, to concentrate on his sadness and anger and hate and let that grow inside of him into strength. And from strength, from a place of protection and security, Ben had been able to grasp sleep more often.

Rey had pierced all of that, he knew. The more time he spent with her the more he felt the pull of the Light, and the more Light felt on his actions, the more difficult it became to sleep again. When he'd killed Han Solo, he'd felt not stronger, but weakened, and he hadn't even been able to bring himself to destroy the Resistance ship containing Leia. And when he'd given the order to have the last of the Resistance destroyed, he'd gone back on it and risked himself to save her – Rey.

He'd killed Snoke for her, too, hadn't he? To save her from his grasp, to beg her to be with him. He'd killed his master and would have killed Luke – no, none of that was for her, or for anyone else. His motives were selfish then, the desire for power and to kill his past and every memory of weakness.

He hated weakness.

Ben slid out of bed and put up a Force shield, sealing himself in his room in the medical wing of the temple. He knelt on the stone floor and closed his eyes.

Sentiment. Sentiment had destroyed the Empire, had led Darth Vader to his death. Vader, Ben's grandfather, had let sentiment come between himself and power, and he'd died for it.

Sentiment had been Vader's weakness. It would not be Ben's.

"Grandfather," he whispered. He was less sure if he'd be heard tonight. "Help me to learn from your mistakes. Help me to finish what you started."


	27. Chapter 27

Cloaking full engaged, the _Millennium Falcon_ waited quietly as the _Destroyer_ slipped over it. BB-8 engaged its magnetic grips and the _Falcon_ docked itself on the larger ship's underbelly and opened a hatch to let Finn enter unseen. That whole thing was supremely stupid.

Once inside, Finn took a moment to get his bearings. He'd never been on a First Order ship of this size, having spent nearly his entire life on Starkiller Base, but he did know how the First Order operated. Careful planning and uniform ship configuration made it easy for troopers to be transferred from one place to another without much need for them to adjust. The main difference from one ship to another, he knew, was a matter of scale.

There was, however, the problem of Finn's lack of a uniform. No one on a First Order ship or base of any size or type wore plain clothes – not ever. He'd worn a uniform every day up until the day he'd left and escaped to Jakku. Having bathed on Dvorah 5 and been given a change of clothes, he no longer looked like a motley rogue but rather like a grey wizard in a flight jacket. He hadn't thought about that until now, when it was too late.

If he couldn't blend in, he'd have to hide until he had a better idea of what his next steps should be. Here was where the uniform layout of ships came in handy: at the sound of a pair of Stormtroopers approaching, Finn slipped behind a baluster he knew would be there and watched them pass. They were talking jovially – they were off the clock and going back to the barracks, he realized. Of course! The barracks would be down this corridor and to the left.

Sticking close to the wall where he could duck and hide if needed, Finn made his way toward the main barracks of the _Destroyer._ He watched the troopers enter and remove their helmets as the doors closed behind them. All he needed was a way in, Finn felt sure of it, and he'd be able to follow through with the rest of plan.

His very stupid, very haphazard plan. But his plan nonetheless.

He hid himself behind a baluster and waited for a single trooper to come by. "Sorry," he whispered, as he struck the trooper over the head with a fire extinguisher. The trooper dropped to the floor; Stormtrooper helmets were great at defending against blasters and smoke, but couldn't properly absorb the impact of a blunt object coming from just the right angle. Finn dragged the trooper behind the baluster. "I'm really sorry," he muttered and proceeded to strip him of his armor.

Finn put on the armor of the now-unconscious trooper, wincing as he did so. He'd promised himself so many times that if he ever got out of the First Order he'd never wear a uniform again – much less the armor of a Stormtrooper. To his dismay, it fit perfectly. He used the temple garments to tie up the trooper and left him out of sight before approaching the door to the barracks.

"May the Force be with me," he murmured to himself, as he strode inside.

The barracks on the _Destroyer_ looked exactly like those he'd lived in for twenty years. The same furnishings, the same colors on the walls, the same smells. Most of the troopers inside had taken off their helmets and were starting to relax after their shifts. On the left wall were their lockers, where hung their simple, all-black off-duty clothes; a large hamper beside the wall of lockers collected their stinking uniforms; from the next room the scent of food wafted – evidently the recipes for troops were the same from ship to ship, too. That made Finn a little sad: he'd always dreamed that, if he were ever stationed elsewhere, he'd at least get a change in his diet. Up the stairs were the rows and rows of bunk beds where the troopers slept in their assigned spots. Droids of various appearances and functions glided purposefully around the huge room. Towering over all of it, painted crisply on the wall above, was the insignia of the First Order.

Finn removed his helmet, nervous. Would anyone recognize him? Did any of them know what he had done?

It occurred to him that he did not know which of the lockers belonged to the trooper he had left tied up outside. Opening the wrong one would draw attention to himself and would likely also get him in trouble with the locker's real owner. It was better to enter the mess hall in armor and violate that unspoken rule than the unspoken rule of not touching another man's stuff.

The mess hall looked just as he anticipated: shiny, perfect steel tables filled the room, while rows and rows of troopers sat and ate. Droids moved up and down the aisles between the tables, offering beverages and clearing empty places. The friendly chatter and ribbing he expected rose like a roar from every corner of the hall, and, for just an instant, he missed it. The camaraderie.

He took his place in line for a tray. Several troopers looked at him funny; why would he still be wearing his armor off-duty? He tried to ignore their looks and the feeling of anxiety that was rising in his chest.

"Hey," one of the guys called, gruffly. "You new?"

Well, just how long did he seriously think he'd go without being noticed?

"Um, yep, yep. New here," he stumbled.

"Just get transferred?" the other man continued.

"Yep," Finn said again, hoping he'd drop it.

"Where were you before?"

Flustered, Finn decided on the truth. "Uh – Starkiller Base."

"Starkiller Base?" the other man repeated. His voice was suddenly calmer; he sounded … impressed. "Hell of a thing that happened there!"

"Um, yep," Finn said again. "Hell of a thing."

The other man was slender and sandy-haired. He had green eyes and, Finn realized, a friendly smile. "I trained with some men there. Do you know if TF-4298 made it out?"

"No, sorry," Finn said.

"JC-5732?"

"I – don't know. I wish I did, man."

"It's all right. You just get so little information out here. Just rumors and whispers. Like, did you hear that Kylo Ren is missing?"

Finn laughed nervously; it burst out of him uncontrollably and more loudly than he ever intended. "Oh no, no, I didn't hear that one."

"Not sure if it's true but it's a good story. First Snoke and then Ren – wouldn't that be something. I'm JC-3753 by the way. Good to meet you."

"I'm FN-" Now Finn knew he couldn't tell the truth on this one. "FN-7439. Good to meet you too."


	28. Chapter 28

Edric was standing now, facing Moriah with intensity. Rey got the distinct impression that this was only the latest iteration of a conversation they'd had before.

"The First Order is our best opportunity, Edric," Moriah said. "They already control most of the galaxy."

"That's exactly the problem," Edric replied. "They _control_ the galaxy. Through force and intimidation. Their way is not compatible with ours."

Moriah scoffed and turned away. Rey took the opportunity.

"Excuse me, but what are you talking about?" she demanded. "What do I have to do with it?"

"Nothing, my dear. Not yet," Edric said, calmly, comfortingly.

"Everything!" Moriah said again, loudly. "You, Rey, and the one called Ben Solo are the Prime Jedi. You will restore balance to the Force and use the First Order to spread that balance throughout the galaxy."

"That's not how this works, Moriah. You're being impatient."

Moriah turned to look at him, her eyes full of pleading. "Edric, _do you not long for peace?_ For an end to conflict and disorder? For balance?"

He sighed, frustrated. Intensity was rising between them: Rey could feel it, and she didn't like it. She knew how to fight if she had to, and she knew that sometimes a fight is unavoidable, but these two -they were powerful and dangerous.

"That's not why she's here. She needs more time, Moriah."

Moriah flared. "Time! Well, she's out of time. I've already called them. They're coming."

For the first time, Edric was stunned into silence. He collected himself. "This is not our way. We decide these things as a council, and the council would never -"

"Which is exactly why I did it. While we sit here keeping the old ways the galaxy is crumbling into ruin. The Prime Jedi is here, _now!"_

Rey had heard enough. Fear, confusion, and anxiety filled her; she turned and ran out of the room the way she'd come in.

Her books were on the _Falcon_ and the _Falcon_ was gone. She needed to find the library at the temple; she couldn't remember what she'd read about the Prime Jedi, so much information had poured out of their pages. She ran back to the corridor that lead to the main chamber and where the rest of the remnant was now waking to the news about Finn. She reached out for Ben and found him strangely unresponsive; he was deep in meditation, she realized, which she hadn't known he did. She had to figure this out herself.

The temple compound, though connected, was a labyrinth of chambers and corridors. Many looked the same to her eyes, filled as they were with greenery and pools of water, and she wasn't entirely sure if she was going in circles or not. She made herself stop, take a deep breath, stretch out with her feelings and listen for the texts to call her.

 _This way._

Rey opened her eyes and immediately began running. Left, then right, then left … and into a bare room. Rough-hewn stones made the walls; the floor was earthen and cool under her feet. It was clearly the oldest part of the temple, and carefully standing on a shelf were a dozen worn books.

She didn't have to try very hard to summon the one she needed. It flew to her as if drawn on a string.


	29. Chapter 29

Rose entered the room hesitantly. Her friends were sleeping in their beds, warm and safe. Each of them had had the blessing of a bath and a full meal – that wasn't mushrooms – and now had fallen asleep, the sleep of the safe and secure, and now she was about to ruin it.

She made her way slowly over to the far corner where Commander Dameron was curled up on his side, snoring very slightly. He had his blankets pulled up to his ears and his hair was rumpled from sleeping on it wet. Rose sighed.

"Commander," she whispered. He didn't move. "Commander," she tried again, shaking his shoulder slightly.

Poe snapped awake and sat halfway up, reaching for his blaster. He mumbled a confused syllable or two and then looked at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She hesitated again. "It's – well it's Finn. He's gone."

"Finn?" Poe muttered, not comprehending. "Did you, like, check in the kitchen?"

She shook her head. "I mean, he's gone. He took the _Falcon._ "

Now fully awake, Poe swung his legs around to the floor and ran his hands through his hair. "He took our ship? Where would he go?"

Rose gave him a meaningful look. There was only one other place he'd ever really been besides with the Resistance.

Poe stood up and Rose did too. There was worse news she had to find a way to tell him.

"He … also … took BB-8 with him."

" _What?_ Why would he take my droid?" Grief permeated Poe's voice.

"I mean, BB-8's missing and Finn doesn't know how to fly, so …"

Poe groaned deeply. He wasn't sure which of his friends he should lament over first.

"Sir, what should we do?"

He was already putting on his belt over the soft temple robes and tucking his blaster into it. "I really have no idea."

Closing the book and tucking it under her arm, Rey moved quickly back through the corridors, feeling out ahead of herself for Moriah. She wasn't ready yet to deal with the rising anger inside her and she didn't know how she'd react if Moriah caught her in the halls.

She was going to Ben's hospital room to try to work out what she had just read. They'd spent so many nights awake together, just talking; she felt sure that he would be able to help make sense of it all, and she knew for certain that he was the only person in the temple she could trust with everything she had just learned.

On her way, though, she passed the chamber where the rest of the remnant had been sleeping. They weren't any more: torches were lit and hung in the metal hooks on the walls, and each of them was getting dressed. Rose must have told them all about Finn.

Her shoulders tensed, not with anger but anxiety. She set her jaw and told herself not to feel it, and she stepped into the room.

Silence fell over the already hushed Resistance fighters. She was, as each of them saw it, a traitor, and she knew it.

"I don't think you should be here," Rose said. Rey hadn't seen her there by the door. She ignored her.

Poe was facing her, defiant. She approached him, hating herself and hating that she had no choice but to have this conversation.

"She's right: you shouldn't be here, Rey."

"Do you think you're leaving?" she asked, forcing her voice to be calm. "Finn took the _Falcon._ "

"We can't overstay our welcome with the Jedi," Poe said, after a moment. He was making it up as he went, she realized.

"They're not Jedi," Rey corrected him. "They call themselves Watchers, but they're not just watching anymore." She was aware that her words only made partial sense to him.

"Whatever," Poe snapped. "Did you know Finn left? He couldn't take any more of your lies either."

Rey shook her head, trying to dismiss his words. Poe wasn't making a lot of sense, but the whole situation was swiftly spinning out of control around her.

"We've got bigger problems to deal with," she replied. "Moriah called the First Order."

Fear rippled through the remnant. Rey could feel them recoil, could feel their confusion. Poe's face changed, softened somehow. "Why would she do that?" he stuttered.

"I don't really know. I think she wants to use Ben and me to control them somehow."

"Wait, who's Ben?" Poe asked.

"Ben Solo. Kylo Ren. The man you're so angry with me about!"

Poe was stunned silent. After several moments, he collected himself enough to repeat her words. "Ben … Solo. Leia's son?" Rey nodded, feeling her frustration rise. "Is Kylo Ren?"

"Doesn't anyone know anything?" she blurted out, her voice louder than she intended. "How can there be so many _secrets_?" Tears of exasperation and exhaustion overflowed and fell down her cheeks. She wiped them away roughly with the back of her free hand. "I can't help any of you if everything is just secrets," she muttered, more to herself than to him. She was becoming irrational as her emotions swelled.

Sunlight was beginning to filter in through the windows. It was morning.

"You're not safe here," she said, at last. "I'm sorry; I thought you'd be safe here but I was wrong. You have to go."

"Go … where?" Rose asked, softly.

Rey steeled herself as a realization entered her. "Go into the jungle and hide."

"The jungle?" Poe repeated.

"Go into the jungle and hide," Rey said again, with more conviction. The kind of conviction she knew she needed right then. "I'll do what I can to hold them off. You get as far away from the temple as you can."

"We'll go into the jungle and hide," Poe said, flatly.

"We'll get as far away from the temple as we can," Rose added.

"Yes, go into the jungle and hide," Rey said.

"We'll go into the jungle and hide," the others said, one at a time.

Re swallowed hard. As they gathered their things into their arms, she turned and went down the hall to where Ben was.


	30. Chapter 30

Finn shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he watched JC-3753 tuck in to his meal. Eating First Order cuisine was another thing he'd promised himself he wouldn't do again, and this was one promise he could actually keep.

The _Destroyer_ lurched in space, making the water in their glasses tremble as they shifted into hyperspace. Finn didn't blink, any more than anyone else did: this ship's movements and destination were none of their business as ordinary troopers. Orders and commands were all they needed to know.

"So," JC-3753 said, through a mouthful of food. "Where ya from?"

He was a little dumbstruck. This was not the kind of conversation troopers were supposed to have. "Um, I'm not sure," he replied. It was the truth.

"Got you young," JC-3753 said, knowingly. It was a common story. Finn nodded, trying to seem unremarkable.

Another trooper sat down with them and took a bite before speaking. "Heard you got transferred from Starkiller," he said. He was tall and pale and gangly-looking. Without waiting for Finn to reply, he continued: "You know if NM-6674 made it off before it hit the fan?"

Finn shook his head solemnly. There were so many men stationed on Starkiller Base, he could never have known them all, much less kept track of what became of them. He knew for certain, however, that many lives had been lost. Too many lives.

JC-3753 was speaking. "JC-5732's my brother," he said, looking directly at Finn and ignoring the other man. "And I'm not talking metaphorically. He was my little brother. Our folks were Alderaanian refugees, offworld when … well, you know."

Finn did indeed know.

JC-3753 took a bite from the mushy side dish on his tray. "By the time we came around, they were just Baileraanian scavengers trying to keep their molecules together. Troopers came, shot them, and took us to programming." That was the part of the story Finn knew all too well.

"You talk too much, mate," said the gangly trooper. "I'm NM-9342. Welcome to the _Destroyer._ "

Finn tried to smile in response. They were being kind, he knew. It seemed like as good a moment as any to try the next stage of his plan. He took a deep breath and began.

"Don't you guys hate this?" he asked, in hushed tones. "Killing women and children, razing a village?"

NM-9342 stopped chewing and looked sidelong at JC-3753. Finn didn't miss that there was something deeper going on in the look they exchanged, some knowing, some previous conversation. It was too late to turn around now.

"Being no better than the ones that took us from our families?"

It was JC-3753 who broke the silence that followed Finn's flurry of words. "It's not safe to talk about this here," he said, in a whisper. "Come on; there's a spot in Corridor B."

The feeling of relief – relief that he wasn't about to shot for his words, not yet – nearly made it impossible for Finn to move from his seat.

* * *

The three of them assembled in the crack between units on Corridor B. _What the hell am I doing?_ Finn screamed internally. This whole thing was a suicide mission, a desperate attempt to salvage the very last of his dignity, and he was standing in a windy crack above a garbage compacter wearing another man's clothes and talking treason with two strangers.

Well, at least the _suicide_ part of the mission seemed to be on track.

"So?" JC-3753 hissed. "What's your plan?"

" _My_ plan?" Finn replied. "What do you mean, _my plan?_ You brought me here!"

NM-9342 gave JC-3753 a gentle shove. "You must have a plan, FN-7439. You don't bring up stuff like this if you don't have a plan."

Finn's head was swimming. They were right that he had a plan, but it had only extended as far as getting on the _Destroyer_ and finding some troopers who disliked the Order. He hadn't expected it to happen this quickly, before he had time to come up with something else. He wondered what Poe would do.

"He doesn't have a plan," JC-3753 said finally.

NM-9342 sighed audibly. "Should've known."

The two of them began to walk away, leaving Finn alone just as quickly as he'd come to this spot. He was embarrassed and, he realized, he had to worry about what the two of them would do with this information they had just gotten on him. Suicide indeed.

"FN-2187?" a voice asked, incredulously. "Eight-Seven?"

He'd hoped never to hear that name again. Finn turned to look at who it was that was addressing him, and he realized as he did so that his hands were trembling. "FN-8482?"

His friend looked like he'd seen a ghost – as in a way he had. FN-8482's dark eyes were wide, his brows tense, and his gaze intense. "I thought you defected." FN-8482's face softened as he studied Finn's. "I thought you were dead."

Several moments passed and Finn realized for the second time that night that he wasn't about to get shot. FN-8482 threw his arms around him and laughed.

The other two men had paused at the mention of his name. "FN-2187?" one repeated.


	31. Chapter 31

Rey paused outside the door to Ben's room in the infirmary. Inside, he was kneeling on the far side of his cot, muttering to himself. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to penetrate the barrier he had erected around himself; she had never seen anyone actually meditating. Well, they were certain tribes on Jakku that had rituals and practices, but these were secretive and she knew little about them. Religion had never been as important to her as survival, and she was an outsider in every gathering. The book in her hands felt suddenly much heavier. She knew so little about how to be a Jedi, what was necessary, what their practices were; the tome in her hands was about the history of what it's called "the Way": the old ways, before the Jedi and the Sith split the ways of the Force. Other traditions, other practices had evolved as they forgot the old ways, the ways of balance.

After a moment, Rey called his name. He made no response. She tried instead to lean into their bond, to rouse him from whatever state he was in and make him talk to her. She needed him.

She concentrated hard, and at last he seemed to hear her. He stood up quickly and faced her, and the barrier around him dissolved. She said his name softly, as he looked down at her with customary intensity. For a moment, she tried to read him, as she was becoming so accustomed to doing; he was opaque, impenetrable, resistant to her gentle probing. "What do you know about the prime Jedi?" she asked. She could only hope that in his years training with Luke, he had more information about its significance than she did.

"Nothing."

He was telling the truth, that much she could feel. She opened the book with a gesture, and it fell open to the hand-drawing of the seated figure. The book balanced on her hand, and then glided toward him as he called it. She realized, only after she had asked him, that Luke had never read the old texts; perhaps even he had not understood the significance of the image.

"I think _this_ is _us_ ," she said, her voice trembling with uncertainty.

She watched as he studied the image, could see his eyes tracing its outline, could feel his defenses falling slightly as he came to much the same conclusion that she had. Her words stuck in her throat even as she said them: "We have to be united, Ben. We have to do this _together_."

He was silent. Thinking.

"Ben," she pressed. She could feel the urgency of their situation, even if he couldn't. The Order was coming, Moriah was evidently unhinged, and Rey wasn't sure what Edrik and the others could do about it. She clung to what she saw was her only hope. "Join me."

He was looking at her now. He was not attempting to penetrate her mind, nor to lower his own internal defenses any further than he had; he was staring intensely at her, feeling her emotions. She felt tears of frustration pricking at her eyes, and knew that he would feel that too.

She began to force her way in. "You have to join me. You will join me."

At this, Ben's expression changed. His eyes narrowed and he hardened his face against her. Instantly, his internal defenses were fully engaged, and he seemed to growl. "No," he said, his voice so deep in his chest that she, for a moment, wasn't sure if you had spoken it aloud or not. "I will not be a means for someone else's ends. Not even yours, Rey."

A burst of energy exploded from him, knocking her to the ground.


	32. Chapter 32

Sorry it's been a while, friends. The ending is having a tough time materializing ...

* * *

Poe blinked, feeling very, very strange. Around him stood the tall, leafy vegetation of the Dvorah jungle; animals hooted in the distance; mid-morning light filtered through the leaves and onto him and the other Resistance members. Rose and Connix were beside him as he'd been marching, and when he stopped, they did too.

"What the …" he began, too puzzled to finish the thought. "How did we …?"

As if emerging from a spell, Rose muttered, "The jungle …"

He realized he was wearing all his various accoutrements: blaster, holster, vest. It was all there. A frantic panic struck him: " _Where's my droid?_ "

"Sir," C-3PO interjected. "You have been quite unresponsive to my remarks. As we have already discussed, BB-8 has left this planet with Finn."

"Finn," Poe repeated, wonderingly. Why would Finn take his droid? Why would they leave? How were Poe and the others here in the jungle when they should be in the temple where it was safe? "What is going on, Threepio?" he demanded.

"Commander Dameron, I have recorded the conversation you had with Rey just before you departed from the temple. I shall play it back to you -"

"No," he said, quickly. Rey: she was why they were out here. He didn't know how but she was why they were so far in the thick jungle. "How far have we walked?"

"By my calculations, sir," C-3PO began, but he was cut short by Connix.

"Too far," she said. "You can't even see the tower from here."

She was right. He had no idea how long they'd been walking and when they'd left, but they could no longer see the temple on its hill, and that, as far as Poe was concerned, was too far away from the only civilization he knew of on this world. He shook his head, nervously. The memory of his conversation with Rey began to come back to him, as did her betrayal. _Kylo Ren …_

"We need to get back. I don't understand what's going on." A frightened murmur passed through the others.

"Commander," Rose offered. He let her pull him aside: all twenty of the Resistance fighters looked frightened and Poe's distress wasn't helping. "Do you remember that Finn and BB-8 took the _Falcon_?" He nodded, vaguely. It was coming back to him. "And that Chewbacca found Kylo Ren in the smuggling compartments?"

Behind them, Chewie growled at the mention of his name and that of the Supreme Leader, Han Solo's killer.

"And that … Rey defended him?"

That he definitely did remember.

She was a mechanic, only a passable pilot, and otherwise a mystery to Poe, but she'd nearly died for the Resistance on at least two occasions he'd witnessed, and he trusted her.

"There's something really scary going on at that temple," Rose concluded. "And I think it's too dangerous for all of us to go back until we know what it is."

She was right, of course. The small remnant of the Resistance was too few in number to risk; they were safe here, hidden, for the moment. "Yeah. Okay. You and I – we go back and try to figure this out."

She nodded, hesitantly.

"Connix, you're in charge here until you get my call." He handed her a simple comm link. Connix looked suddenly pale; she too had risked her life for him and lied to Admiral Holdo; she was the member of the team that he trusted most of all. And he was about to leave her in the jungle.

"Yes sir," she said, her voice trembling slightly.

"Come on," he said to Rose. And they turned back down the path they had just come.


	33. Chapter 33

"Eighties," Finn said, halfway between a laugh and a sob. "You have no idea. Sometimes I think I am."

"How did you escape?" FN-8482 asked earnestly. His soft, blue-tinged hair was mussed from his helmet; purple eyes glinted familiarly in the unnatural light of the corridor. FN-8482 was from a race of humans that had lived underground for many generations; his coloring was an unmistakable hint of his people's past. They had trained together as boys, he and Finn, and grown up together on Starkiller Base, yet all Finn knew about FN-8482's past was written on his skin.

"It's a long story," Finn said, fondly examining his old friend. He then looked around at his companions and their surroundings; here in a corner of the corridor, Finn realized it was probably his best opportunity. He leaned in and lowered his voice to a whisper. "I killed Phasma."

"You _what?"_ FN-8482 stammered. JC-3753 and NM-9342 gaped.

"Now he's just screwing with us," JC-3753 said, more to himself than anyone else.

"No, it's true," Finn replied, insistently. "She tried to have me executed and I took the sword right from the executioner's hand."

Finn examined his companions' faces. What did he see there? Admiration? Enthusiasm? Fear? Could he trust them?

"How did you escape your programming?" NM-9342 asked, his tone intense.

"Guys," he said, choking on his own words even as he spoke them. "If I did it, you can too."

He wondered, for just an instant, what Rey would do in his place. She was a fighter, an image of selflessness – no. He dismissed her image from his mind. Not Rey. _What would Poe do?_

"You need names," he said, the idea coming to him even as he said it aloud. "Real names. JC-3753: how about, um … Jak?"

The soft smile that crept across his face warmed Finn more than he could describe. "Yeah. Yeah, Jak."

"And Eighties. What do you like?"

"I …" he muttered. "I never thought about it." He slowly formed the word in his mouth and spoke it. "Rennick. I want to be Rennick."

Finn grinned, remembering his own naming. He'd never thought about any other name either, but he certainly wouldn't have come up with Rennick. He liked it.

"NM-9342?" Finn continued. "How about -"

He interrupted him. "My mother called me Ari."

"Ari it is. Jak, Rennick, and Ari. You can call me Finn."

The four of them moved through the dining hall, slowly, trying to walk casual. Finn chose a seat by himself and sipped on a cup of water while the others spread out to talk to men they trusted. They were going to talk a little treason.

The trooper beside him swore loudly down at his plate. " _Hux._ That lousy, aristocratic dirtbag and his worthless rations. I think we get less to eat now than under Snoke."

"It's certainly worse tasting," another trooper agreed. Finn also concurred, judging by the sight of it.

"You know he's a bastard," said a third.

"Sure is," the first replied, heartily.

"No, I mean – he's not the aristocrat he wants you to think. His mom was the maid."

The three men laughed loudly; Finn wondered if that were true. He could still feel the sting of Hux's backhand on his cheek.

"Haven't seen him in a day or two," the second trooper said, after a few moments. "Hope he's not dead."

They laughed again. And who was he kidding? Finn also wished him dead.

A grumble from behind him drew his attention to the next table. "Where do you think we're headed now?" asked a gruff-sounding trooper. Finn didn't dare turn around and let on that he was eavesdropping, but he looked away from the first group in order to concentrate his hearing.

"Who knows?" came a reply. "Some peaceful world that doesn't lick Ren's boots enough."

"They still looking for Skywalker?" asked the first.

"Nah, they killed him in the Outer Rim."

"Rumors," said a third voice, older and more cynical. "All rumors with no truth behind them."

"Maybe if they told us what we were doing," said the first, gruff voice, sounding annoyed. "We wouldn't have to guess."

A moment passed. Finn could almost hear the older man calculating his response. "Reasons aren't yours to worry about. You serve the First Order and you obey the Supreme Leader."

It was an officer, Finn realized; an officer was monitoring the mess hall and listening in on their conversations. His eyes darted over to where Jak was deeply involved in a conversation with two troopers and hoped he knew who he was talking with. Finn knew all too well the techniques the Order had for extracting information from the rank and file.

"Report for reconditioning immediately, HD-7362," the officer commanded. Finn heard the clatter of dishes being collected. He shivered involuntarily.

Ari passed by him in that moment; that was the sign. Finn picked up his water glass and followed Ari toward the door, depositing it on a conveyor belt for cleaning as the four of them slipped out of the hall and away to the showers, where the sounds of running water could conceal the planning of their next steps.


	34. Chapter 34

When she opened her eyes, she was aware that only moments had passed. She'd been stunned, but not really unconscious. She was on his cot in the infirmary, where he had placed her; that much she remembered quite clearly through the fuzz in her brain.

"Rey," said a familiar voice. "Get up."

It wasn't Ben's voice.

"Luke?" she whispered, bewildered. She sat up – too quickly. Her head swam. The thought ran past her that she needed Ben's advice about what to do next, but she pushed it away. Ben was the reason her head was aching. That and the lack of sleep.

Rey sat for an instant before pushing herself up to her feet. There was work, pressing work, to be done, and she had no idea what to think about Ben.

Feeling for her lightsaber at her hip, she walked quickly out of the room.

There in the corridor, walking quickly with several other men, was Edric. His skin was translucent in the light of the torch held by one of his companions; he looked as if he had aged in the hour since she'd seen him. He wore the same silvery jacket that she did, the ornately embroidered edge sweeping along his ankles and shimmering in the flickering light. His milky blue eyes were immediately upon her.

"Rey," he said, almost reverently. "These are a few of the other Watchers. More are coming."

She glanced over at them, and was surprised to find they were of all ages, young and old, and that while she'd initially thought they were all men, she realized now it was just that they were all dressed alike, in soft, silvery jackets and charcoal grey trousers. Men and women, of all ages and species. More arrived in the corridor even as she gazed at them, her soft brown eyes growing large. She'd had no idea that so many people lived here.

She looked back at Edric. "What about Moriah?"

"She's lost hope," he said, softly, his voice mournful but gentle.

"Grown tired of waiting," said another, a young female Loneran who seemed only slightly older than she.

"But worse," said another, the other man who had met them as they disembarked the _Falcon._ "She would use the power of the First Order to impose peace."

Rey shook her head. She thought of Tuanul, burned to the ground on Jakku as chastisement; of Snoke's attempts on her own life. Of everything she knew about Ben Solo. "That's no peace at all."

"Precisely," Edric said. "Peace comes through balance. Not compulsion."

"Compulsion," she repeated. She thought of Ben, who was always on the edge of her mind, and she reached out for him. Moments ago, he'd been closed off from her, but now she could sense him again. A pinch of regret gripped her; she was grateful to be able to feel his signature nearby, albeit outside the temple. She became aware, too, that the crowd of Watchers was attempting to stifle its feeling of panic. She sensed that they were accustomed to the soft hum of the Force and to quiet, meditative silence; the arrival of the _Millennium Falcon_ and its occupants had sent a frightening ripple through them, and Moriah's betrayal had been the ultimate and terrifying result. Rey's voice felt low and insufficient. "How do we create balance?"

 _Come and see,_ said the voice only she heard.

"Come and see," said the Loneran, her amber eyes and yellow fur as soft as her voice. Her eyes turned toward the far end of the corridor, which, Rey knew by now, opened to the main gate through she'd entered only hours before. What was waiting for her outside?

Rey turned and walked slowly, hesitantly, toward the gate. The Watchers followed her lead in silence. The smooth stone corridor was cool under her bare feet and her breath was loud in her ears. She turned the corner toward the gate and entered the bright morning sun.


	35. Chapter 35

Finn turned on the water spray and he and his new friends stood close enough by that their words were lost to any casual listener.

"Where do we begin?" Ari asked, his voice intense, like he was ready to strike down a First Order officer right then. "And how many of us do we need to get started?"

"Others will join when they realize what's going on," Rennick interjected. "We won't need many to get started; once we take down the leadership, the others will jump in."

"How many troopers are true believers?" Jak asked. "Who can we trust?"

Their cacophonous debate was not going to get any of them anywhere. "Stop!" Finn hissed. "This isn't helping. We need -"

"Stop wasting time," snapped a loud voice. "And water." It was a trooper who spoke to them, an overseer minding the bathing room. How had Finn missed him? "All of you have another shift to rest up for. Get to work."

They all knew what that meant. Taking a side long glance at his companions, Finn began to unbutton the neck of his shirt. The others followed suit. There was no need for shame among them; troopers had been taking showers together three entire lives. But for Finn, he knew, there were a few distinctive markings on his body that would raise their questions.

He pulled his shirt over his head and put it into the laundry chute. As he did so, he turned his back to the others.

"Finn," Jak said, apprehensively. "What happened there?"

Finn knew exactly what they were seeing: the long raised scar that stretched along his entire back, bisecting him along his spine. From where Kylo Ren had fileted him alive.

He gave them the abbreviated version, leaving out the parts about Rey to the best of his ability. There was no need to bring her into this, whatever was going on with her. Besides: just saying her name seemed to sting his mouth.

Kylo Ren's name, on the other hand, he was happy to say aloud in connection with the ragged burns and scars that marred his shoulders and back. Surely he'd gotten some marks from training against his fellow troopers in the academy and after, but the big ones – those were the work of the Supreme Leader himself.

"Whoa," Jak said, when Finn was done. "I didn't think anyone could face him and survive."

"He's just a man," Finn said, trying to make himself feel better about it.

"A man who can use _magic,_ " Jak insisted.

"It's not magic," Finn snapped. "It's something else. More controlled, more … inexplicable than magic." He thought of Rey lifting those boulders to rescue them all from the cave on Crait, of Luke projecting his image onto the battlefield for Kylo Ren to rage against while the rest escaped, of Poe's story about Ren probing into his mind. "I can't explain it. But when he did that," he said, nodded his head over his shoulder to indicate the scar down his back, "he wasn't using the Force. It was just anger."

They were silent for a moment, thoughtfully washing themselves, trying to think of what to say to such a thing.

"That was very brave of you," Rennick said at last. "I don't think I could have faced down Kylo Ren. Not even over a girl."

Ari laughed, trying to reduce the tension. "No girl would give you the chance to fight over her."

Rennick blushed. It was a stupid conversation, they all knew; none of them had been any closer to a woman than perhaps to Captain Phasma. Finn knew, too, that they had picked up on his feelings for Rey despite his intentional attempts to conceal them.

"When we're free," Finn said, working at great effort to keep his voice calm and low, "you'll all get to have a chance at your dreams, like I did."

Another few moments of silence. "So then," Rennick asked, "you didn't get the girl."

He shook his head _no_ very slightly, almost imperceptibly. "But I might have found someone after all. If I can get back to her, I won't screw it up again."

The other guys smiled to themselves, just thinking about what it might be like to "find someone."

"We have to do this first," Finn reminded them. "So we have a chance at all that."

* * *

Star destroyers follow standard days; night falls at a specified time, and day breaks at a specified time. With no sun to look to, a trooper's shift schedule becomes his only knowledge of day and night. In the middle of the night, then, when only the minimum staff was on duty, Finn and his men decided to strike.

There were more of them than he had expected. Dozens more, in fact. Silently, eagerly, they arrived there in the mess hall, dressed in full armor, ready to take down an Empire.

"Let's do this," Finn said.


	36. Chapter 36

Star destroyers. Even as she watched, another one dropped out of hyperspace and into view in the sky above them. Three of them in total. They began to lower further into the atmosphere, slowly, slowly. Rey could feel the Watchers behind her.

Rey had spent the night inside the temple, and though she had not slept, the brightness of morning had come quickly. Now the star destroyers seemed to block it out, like an eclipse.

On the edge of the temple grounds, just before the earth began to slope down to the forest, stood Moriah, watching the darkening sky. She had removed the silvery jacket and wore only a short, dark tunic over the loose trousers; her long hair was tied up and out of her face.

Suddenly the fear Rey had been pushing down rose up into her throat and choked her.

Amidst the chaos, Ben was still. His gaze was trained on Rey, as if there were no other sight nor sound on Dvorah. She closed the few steps between them, until she was close enough to see the curves of the scar on his cheek.

"When I was a boy, my mother was a senator," he said. He was looking straight into her; she could _feel_ his words even as he spoke them aloud. "She was a Populist. Her goal was to restore power to the individual worlds and systems of the galaxy. To let them rule themselves, without compulsion."

His eyes lifted to the sky above them, now dominated and darkened by the First Order ships hanging there. Their thunderous hum all but drowned out his words, but to her they were as clear as her own heartbeat.

"Empires, Republics; let them all die. Tear them down."

He gestured upwards with his right hand, sweeping across the sky, as a small troop of TIE Fighters screamed into sight. He closed it into a fist and each one crumpled like a drinking vessel and crashed to the ground.

"Crush the systems that work to impose their will." He once again met her eyes, his natural intensity and sharpness driving into her. "No more manipulation. No more Snokes."

"Peace," she whispered.

"Maybe. But hope."

She loved him then; she knew it.

Her heart rose in her chest. _This_ was the Ben Solo she knew, the Ben she had stayed up so late so many nights to be with. The Ben she had shipped herself to the _Supremacy_ to save. The Ben she'd looked up at adoringly, wonderingly, when he'd killed his master to stop her suffering. The feeling pressing out of her was one she had rarely experienced before: pride. She was _proud_ of him. Words were not necessary between them. Ben heard her. He turned back to look at the sky, at the ships hanging too low above the surface like stormclouds.

"Balance," she said and she stood beside him. Together they gazed up at the darkening sky; a new barrage of TIE Fighters dropped down from the cruiser, like ants pouring out of their hill to face an intruder.

The look on his face was one of resolve. He raised his chin defiantly, his soft black hair moving in the slight breeze. His eyes steady and fixed on the fighters screaming down toward them. He'd heard her, every word, both spoken and silent. Emotion, his old enemy, choked him, and he was glad.

She was close enough to him that he could feel the warmth of her body in the cooling air. Being near her, he felt … better. More calm. More complete. This was enough, he thought; enough for now. If they survived what was coming, there would be time for something more. If they didn't, then it was enough that she stood beside him then, his equal. His friend.

They both knew what they had to do.


End file.
